Dear Pimpy,

I've been trying to be a good girl, but these other bitches keep getting all up in my grill when I'm trying to get some macktion. I've been cockblocked by so many hos that I'm ready to smack-a-bitch and I don't know what to do. Do you have any advice to get these cock-hungry whores out of the picture so I can take my pick of the prime meats?

vel, i think you answered your own question. you wanna smack a bitch, smack a bitch. nothin turns a man on like seein that a bitch be willin to fight for his cock. you want that prime meat? you gotta fight for it wichoo claws. them guys you want is the playas, and nothin thrills a playa like a total psycho bitch. after you smack down the hos, slap the guys ass or bite him. thatll seel the deel.

mach,you gotta fix on a club, getchoo some kegs, you gotta git you boys, like fuckin ten of em, getchoo drink on, and roll to the club. (not too much drink now, you savin it.) you git to the club an each one you boys tells three or four girls that you leavin the club early cuz you goin to a party with open bar, and they should come. roll back where you came, and yall get krunk and get them girls fucked up proper. then take your pick. for now practise your drink for tolerance, cuz somma them bitches drink like fuckin FISH, and you ain't wanna be down afore them. don't trust no girls to poor your drink, they gonna give you twice as much and you don wanna waste time on bitches that ain't down to party. but the most important thing to remember is bros before hos. dont be fightin over no bitch, if you pull this proper should be plenny to go aroun.

pimp on my little pimps.

fuck yea. but careful widda e, you little girls think you can take so much, sometimes you just fry. if it doesn kill you then in a couple years you can come work for me. sounds good right?

Dear Pimpy...

Uh.

What day is it?

alrighty karasu,

see to be a pimp, you see what you really are is like a middle man, like a match maker. its all about networking. basically you need 1. some hos 2. some guys that wants to get with the hos. also you need to be such a man so that nobody questions your shit. you da boss in this shit. probably kill some people. i mean, even if you not really wanna be a pimp, kill somebody anyway. you gonna have to do it someday, just get it out of the way.

but yeah i guess the most important thing is to getchoo some hos. easiest is maybe if they addicted to crack, or if they poor or really stupid... you know what kind. then just promise them everything, how they gonna be rich if they work for you. it's all pretty easy. maybe the hardest part is to find some territory and keep it. see why i said to kill somebody? just have cred, negotiate your way, lay the smack down. is not so hard really.



mach,

according to the site, today is two days after ari's birthday. so there ya go.



SS,

coolio and dmx... alright see, in a fair fight, my money would be on dmx. he got the scrappy from way back goin on more i think. but see, aint no such thing as a fair fight is what people dont know. in the world, a fight is always go to the person who expect the fight, or start the fight. you gotta give yourself the advantage. you win the fight cuz you surprise, or cuz you got the posse. aint never been a fair fight in the world. so everbody try to git the advantage now though see? and thas what you askin me here, this east-west thing. it aint right. everbody just try to git a bigger and bigger posse, aint no sense in it. when rappers fight, nobody wins. we need some peace.

don matter where you from, pimp on.

yeah, i mean i dont know about no pirate stuff cept for the innernet but you need some booty is cool. what kinda booty you like? thick? skinny? juicy? what color? how nasty you like it? cuz id recommend the nasty. have some nasty boy, getchoo some nasty. did you like the nasty? because you should try the nasty. also, unless you got like some pirate gold, probably go for some old and nasty. economic and shit. let me know.

oh yeah, and you guys remember about how we was talkin about superman and what he could do? it turns out he was a fuckface afterall, check this shiz out. SuperDickery.com

supes was a g.

hey j,

i love how you girls is always come to me to get banged, but it aint so hard really. you bitches got it easy. jus go down to your local shit bar, wearing something skanky, and see who wants to buy you tequila shots. its free that way. you wanna bang the next pimp dude you see, wear something skanky and ask him to take you home for tequila shots and strip poker. too easy.

and thanks, but uh... don't call me pimp dude. just dont sound right. pimpy is fine. maybe pimps if you like. my schedule is busy, but maybe we can work somethin out... swing by sometime so i can check your credenshals. i dunno how i'm feelin this week, maybe somethin... hmm... you no they need to make words for different flavors of women. somethin like... milky flavor... like ice cream. you come by, we check you out.

getcha some -pimpy

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superfinger bitches! hahahahahahaha

I think this is actually one of the deepest and most insightful statements I've seen on Zch. I seriously wish I was kidding.

Props, Pimpy. Props.

hello kiddys! i answer these in order.

krieg, props on kiling russia. i mean i got nothin against them, but y'know, it was probably a lot fo work for you, and i respect that. anyway, bitches. in most cases i would say, fuck as many as possible. in this case though, you gotta think. cuz in regular cases, you can just leave afterwards y'know? this case is different. these bitches gonna be with you ALL THE TIME. i mean its gonna be like bein married. i wouldn marry one chick, but you gonna be married to 1, 2, 3? that's however many chicks gonna be with you ALL the time. i mean how big is your bunker? shit. they gonna be talking talking talk talk talk... you gonna wish you blew up too. i cant take one bitch talkin, i think more than that is gonna kill you. i mean shit, after a while they can tell you not listenin and then they make you do it. i mean, maybe if you got some chicks that was just really into sex, like the kind of chick whos like she got a mans brain but is a chick, like that kinda chick, THEN maybe you could get more than one. but unless you got like a really big bunker, i dunno how many hos you want. think about that, think what you can take.



roder, much thanks for the props. thas why pimpys here, you ask pimpy you get the truth. unless i wanna bang ya.



raven, i glad to hear it, but i dunno, you willin to fly someobdy in? cuz i not really operatin in your area man. MD... i donno where that is. really you prolly just wanna hire locally. you gimme an idea of where you is, i can scoop it out for you. hang in there man, you know where ot reach me.

stay chill kids! -pimpy