Author Topic: Conversational Oddities Redux (Read 144072 times)

K · « **on:** April 18, 2006, 10:10:45 PM »

(21:36:29) Starlock43: My girl is off limits to you guys. especially you, twinkie
(21:39:36) Krieg: Well, then. I, Krieg, do solemnly swear to not tap that sweet half-forumite ass until she is at least 2 years legal and not in the same time zone as her father.
(21:39:41) Krieg: Amen.
(21:39:57) S*S: I swear no such thing.
(21:40:10) Z: I swear to castrate men with rusty spoons in her defense.
(21:40:15) Z: *brandishes spoons*
(21:40:15) S*S: ...
(21:40:30) S*S: I hurriedly retract my earlier position re: your daughters chastity
(21:40:42) Starlock43: I will nuke you I swear
(21:41:21) Starlock43: I hope she's gay
(21:41:28) Krieg: On my honour I will wrap it and pull out, I swear it.

Paladin · « **Reply #1 on:** April 19, 2006, 04:37:21 AM »

"I wish my lawn was so emo it would cut itself."

TGU · « **Reply #2 on:** April 19, 2006, 10:53:43 AM »

Friend₁: (something about Pirates of the Caribbean)
Friend₂: You know that they're adding Captain Jack Sparrow to the Pirates ride?
Friend₁: Yeah! He's being immortalized on a theme park ride!
Friend₂: Wouldn't it be great if you could ride Johnny Depp?
Everyone in the room: ...

Chibi · « **Reply #3 on:** April 19, 2006, 01:54:42 PM »

chibidreamer827 (4:48:06 PM): booo!
Friend: boo!
haha...you can't scare me!
You crazy little chibi...hehehe
Chibidreamer827: *puts on george bush mask and shouts booga booga*
Friend:AHHHHHHHHHHH
*Runs for the hills, cowering behind weapons of mass destruction*
Umm....note to self...find new hiding place
chibidreamer827 (4:49:41 PM): *in mask* HA I TOLD YOU!
chibidreamer827 (4:49:57 PM): *finds behind weapons* tag your it!
friend: Oh....wait....nvm....he only looks where they AREN"T any weapons....
lol
Aha...this proves you aren't him and I'm not scared...
chibidreamer827 (4:50:46 PM): damn.
chibidreamer827 (4:50:48 PM): *stalks off*
friend: creeped out, maybe...lol...but definately not scared

Pixie · « **Reply #4 on:** April 20, 2006, 02:00:46 PM »

My little brother, discussing my being away from home for the last 2 months and a bit:

tom: yeah, we were laughing about that
tom: when you come home you'll be really sad
tom: you've been kicked out your room, spad's [his friend] got easter eggs that should have been yours and now the farm has put up a big sign saying "holly for sale"
tom: i found it really funny

I feel so loved.

Adam the Alien · « **Reply #5 on:** April 20, 2006, 02:31:19 PM »

"I don't trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die." -my friend Mitchell, a few minutes ago.

"It's not rape, it's surprise sex." -Lara, Rougue from xForums, earlier in the week.

oh knee · « **Reply #6 on:** April 20, 2006, 05:48:40 PM »

Quote from: Adam the Alien on April 20, 2006, 02:31:19 PM

""It's not rape, it's surprise sex." -Lara, Rougue from xForums, earlier in the week.

That is very, very wrong, and Rougue should be ashamed of herself!

...and yet, I find it morbidly funny. I am so going to burn in Hell.

Lady Malchav · « **Reply #7 on:** April 20, 2006, 06:39:25 PM »

Rougue must be a yaoi fangirl. That's practicly our battlecry.

TeroWasHere · « **Reply #8 on:** April 20, 2006, 06:39:42 PM »

Regarding: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10995599/

npseaver: HOLY SHIT
Antero: YEAH
Antero: BIG ENOUGH?
npseaver: they never are
Antero: ...
npseaver: jellyfish
npseaver: never big enough
Antero: i think that one's big enough, actually.

sinic · « **Reply #9 on:** April 20, 2006, 06:44:01 PM »

WRT Adam's post...

I think everyone alive has the one thing (or more) that they think isn't funny, regardless of context. For whatever reason I can find some morbid stuff really funny since it's so over-the-top that it can't be taken seriously... but with rape jokes I just can't. I find them tasteless in all their forms.

Just because a girl talks about rape that doesn't make it funny. Any of that stuff coming from a guy would have a good number of the girls screaming for castration, I imagine.

TeroWasHere · « **Reply #10 on:** April 20, 2006, 06:45:10 PM »

I've got more!

From the Mach Makes My Head Hurty File:

Mach: does it take you all day just to get an erection?
Mach: oh whoops
Mach: wrong window

From the Snappy Comeback File:

Antero (2:37:56 AM): the obvious followup is "like your mom"
Mach (2:38:06 AM): but that's already been used
Antero (2:38:12 AM): LIKE YOUR MOM

From the Intentionally Decontextualized File:

S*S (2:54:46 AM): It feels very, very weird
S*S (2:54:49 AM): And not nice
S*S (2:54:56 AM): And it's strangely dehumanizing

From the Things My Roommate Says File:

Steve: you know what is amazing
Steve: is that there are two male lions
Steve: and a bunch of females
Steve: it is amazing

And of course....

Antero: ...how do pirate hooks attach?
Whip: probably in a peg system
Antero: ...how does the peg attach?
Whip: NAILS
Whip: ARRRRRR

K · « **Reply #11 on:** April 20, 2006, 07:09:23 PM »

Quote from: Lady Malchav on April 20, 2006, 06:39:25 PM

Rougue must be a yaoi fangirl. That's practicly our battlecry.

No, that's "SURPRISE BUTTSECKS!!!1!1!11!!!"

Slightly different.

Imp · « **Reply #12 on:** April 21, 2006, 01:29:48 AM »

Ditz: How zombified?
Bunner: *shuffles towards you, arms outstretched*
Bunner: "Braaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnsssss"
Bunner: "Pretty braaaaiiiiinnnnsssss"
Ditz: Well zombified then. What fun!
Ditz: Mind you my brains are really only suitable for a zombie trying to lose weight
Bunner: *begins gnawing on your head*
Ditz: *starts bashing you with LPs*
Bunner: Hey now, that's uncalled for..
Bunner: I'm just a hungry young boy zombie looking for some head!

TGU · « **Reply #13 on:** April 21, 2006, 09:16:08 PM »

Friend: hah, good to see your senior year sucked as much as mine
Wanted Fan: Um...yay?
Friend: misery loves company
Friend: and prescription narcotics

S*S · « **Reply #14 on:** April 22, 2006, 12:09:33 PM »

ewLoafOfBread: yeah for that price it's not horrible
NewLoafOfBread: it's stick but i can drive that just fine
hyena with a gun: ....
NewLoafOfBread: what
hyena with a gun: Nothing
NewLoafOfBread: what
hyena with a gun: Nothing!
NewLoafOfBread: WHAT
hyena with a gun: I like my testicles where they are. So nothing
NewLoafOfBread: i don't want some sort of comment about me driving stick
NewLoafOfBread: because frankly i'm not that good at handjobs
hyena with a gun: Oh, no
hyena with a gun: I just like how confident you are that you can drive stick, in reference to looking for a new car after you write off your last one
NewLoafOfBread: i learned on a stick
NewLoafOfBread: that's why i know i can drive one
hyena with a gun: Although having said that, you can drive MY stick any day
NewLoafOfBread: ......

TGU · « **Reply #15 on:** April 22, 2006, 02:42:18 PM »

Friend: hmmm, i'm gonna say, winter of last year
Friend: I got SARS
Friend: which stands for Sucky Ass Real Sick

toranoraneko · « **Reply #16 on:** April 22, 2006, 09:13:37 PM »

toranoraneko: now, i should do readerings, or something else to be productive
LoneCoonWSU: readerings?
toranoraneko: yes, i meant to write that
LoneCoonWSU: Okay...
toranoraneko: shut up!
LoneCoonWSU: You maul the english languge with no regard for the words! What you do is genocide to syntax!

K · « **Reply #17 on:** April 22, 2006, 10:02:51 PM »

Oh god, the irony.

P4N · « **Reply #18 on:** April 23, 2006, 02:52:28 AM »

"I never noticed before how phalic tattoo guns are..."
*blank stare*
"Penis shaped."
"Well, we know whos mind is in the gutter."

machiavelli33 · « **Reply #19 on:** April 23, 2006, 09:30:14 AM »

SomeGuy: vote for inner jd http://www.oswego.edu/~wnyo/index.html
TMisha999: who are you, and what do you want?
SomeGuy: just vote and help out my buddies band
TMisha999: how did you get this screenname and how did you get past the Agronox?
SomeGuy: i dont f'in know u
TMisha999: THE AGRONOX RULES ALL AND SHALL DESTROY YOU
SomeGuy: i'm scaarrreed
TMisha999: YOU SHALL RUE THE DAY YOU TRIFLED WITH THE AGRONOX AND HIS PANCAKE'D MINIONS
SomeGuy: wtf ahahaha
SomeGuy: i think i msged you about a monitor for sale a while ago, thats how i got your name haha
TMisha999: oh
TMisha999: well ok I'll check it out
SomeGuy: thanks

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Author Topic: Conversational Oddities Redux (Read 144072 times)