Author Topic: Conversational Oddities Redux (Read 144072 times)

Haok · « **Reply #2420 on:** February 19, 2012, 07:30:57 AM »

Tamsin: "It will take me longer than bacon to shower."

(In a discussion about cooking breakfast.)

Norq · « **Reply #2421 on:** February 19, 2012, 09:51:56 PM »

norq: I

my kitten
norq: I think my kitten cares
TIP: Uh huh.
TIP: Girl, she tolerates ear-noms.
TIP: That is a sign of great affection.

Lorelei · « **Reply #2422 on:** February 21, 2012, 11:22:03 PM »

Overhead during classes tonight.

Instructor: What do all hand techniques in Taekwondo have?
Student: *long pause* Hands?
Instructor: I was looking for "twist" or "rotation".....but yeah, hand techniques generally do require hands...

Adam the Alien · « **Reply #2423 on:** February 24, 2012, 12:38:35 AM »

Girlfriend Shannon indicates she wants help getting her shirt off. Roomie Melissa gets to her before I do.

Me: Apparently Melissa's more eager to strip you than I am.
Melissa: I don't get to do it as much!

Lorelei · « **Reply #2424 on:** February 24, 2012, 08:22:46 AM »

"Wait, is Lent a Catholic or a Polish thing, I forget?"

Rawr! I'm A Panda · « **Reply #2425 on:** February 25, 2012, 12:46:56 PM »

(8:11:01 PM) frances.e.eaton@gmail.com/1168BE21: I had a dream about you last night.
(8:13:05 PM) Jonathan Stokes: Yes?
(8:13:17 PM) frances.e.eaton@gmail.com/1168BE21: It had a lot of other girls in it.
(8:13:22 PM) frances.e.eaton@gmail.com/1168BE21: Who you'd apparently slept with.
(8:13:25 PM) frances.e.eaton@gmail.com/1168BE21: All of them.
(8:13:46 PM) frances.e.eaton@gmail.com/1168BE21: And I was getting all pissy at you because I'd come to visit you in Boston but you were more interested in these girls than with spending time with me.
(8:13:53 PM) frances.e.eaton@gmail.com/1168BE21: And all I wanted was a snuggle on the couch.
(8:15:48 PM) frances.e.eaton@gmail.com/1168BE21: Gina was in it, too.
(8:15:53 PM) frances.e.eaton@gmail.com/1168BE21: We were bitching about all these other girls.
(8:17:08 PM) Jonathan Stokes:

(8:17:43 PM) Jonathan Stokes: If you come visit me in Boston I will kick all my other girlfriends out of the house and tell them to get lost, and we will snuggle on the couch and I will feed you girl scout cookies.

TIP · « **Reply #2426 on:** February 25, 2012, 02:40:58 PM »

Me: "Honey, please stop anthropomorphosizing your motor vehicle."
Norq: "But she's a good Bessie!"

*SkaKitty* · « **Reply #2427 on:** February 25, 2012, 02:47:09 PM »

Quote from: Rawr! I'm A Panda on February 25, 2012, 12:46:56 PM

(8:17:43 PM) Jonathan Stokes: If you come visit me in Boston I will kick all my other girlfriends out of the house and tell them to get lost, and we will snuggle on the couch and I will feed you girl scout cookies.

Hehe, random!

Kyle J Cardoza · « **Reply #2428 on:** February 25, 2012, 08:16:38 PM »

Taken from Facebook:

Quote

When considered in the light of being a deconstructionist pastiche of gangster rap/thug life musical subculture, the works of Insane Clown Posse take on a much more satisfying twist - expressing disdain and disapproval of "traditional" rap/hip-hop tropes, by becoming a living, breathing parody of them, thus demonstrating, to those capable of understanding, the absurdity of the trends found in the original subcultures - the self-proclaimed "Juggalos" being unwitting participants in an elaborate act of ridicule, directed at themselves.

S*S · « **Reply #2429 on:** February 27, 2012, 04:11:06 PM »

Quote from: *SkaKitty* on February 25, 2012, 02:47:09 PM

Hehe, random!

Girl scout cookies are this huge frigging deal over here. When you visit, I will show you why

Lorelei · « **Reply #2430 on:** February 27, 2012, 09:14:19 PM »

My husband was playing with a measuring tape when I walked into the room.

Me: Holding it like that....it looks like you're trying to measure the distance between your nipples.
Husband: It's in centimeters....how many centimeters apart do you think they are?
Me: (My brain does not think in metric) Uhm....10?
Husband: 10?!? They'd only be this far apart then! That would be an issue! *holding the measuring tape at 10 cm)
Me: *laughing* Okay, so how far apart are they, 25?
Husband: *Puffs out his chest and looks proud* 28!
Oldest Daughter: *walks down the stairs* Oh god.....if I have weird dreams tonight, I'm blaming it on you two.

TGU · « **Reply #2431 on:** February 28, 2012, 12:20:51 AM »

Quote from: S*S on February 27, 2012, 04:11:06 PM

Girl scout cookies are this huge frigging deal over here. When you visit, I will show you why

I swear the Girl Scouts lace those cookies with heroin. Only way to explain how addictive they are.

(And I say that as a former Girl Scout. I used to sell those cookies. Not even kidding, some people got so excited to see us that I swear they'd been in actual cookie withdrawal.)

Cytherea · « **Reply #2432 on:** February 28, 2012, 06:07:14 AM »

Quote from: TGU on February 28, 2012, 12:20:51 AM

I swear the Girl Scouts lace those cookies with heroin. Only way to explain how addictive they are.

(And I say that as a former Girl Scout. I used to sell those cookies. Not even kidding, some people got so excited to see us that I swear they'd been in actual cookie withdrawal.)

COOOOOOKIIIEEEESSSSSS

Srsly. I was a Girl Scout briefly in high school, and we had the huge boxes-of-boxes of GS cookies in our house. Guess where every cent I had of my own went?

Rawr! I'm A Panda · « **Reply #2433 on:** February 29, 2012, 10:47:00 AM »

Paul Bassbunny Wilson says
did you hear that Davy Jones from The Monkees has died?
Franki Panda says

No
Paul Bassbunny Wilson says
mum just told me. I thought she was joking at first. And then I saw her face ...
now I'm a believer
Franki Panda says
....fuck you.

Norq · « **Reply #2434 on:** March 01, 2012, 03:09:47 PM »

me: Conversational Oddities!
TIP: No.
Me: why not?
TIP: because then they'll all think I use my dick as a microphone. And I don't.

(I got permission to post this part.)

Cytherea · « **Reply #2435 on:** March 01, 2012, 03:35:09 PM »

Quote from: Norq on March 01, 2012, 03:09:47 PM

me: Conversational Oddities!
TIP: No.
Me: why not?
TIP: because then they'll all think I use my dick as a microphone. And I don't.

(I got permission to post this part.)

Doooo your balls hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em over your shoulder
Like a Continental soldier?
Do your balls hang low?

toolazytoworktoobusytostop · « **Reply #2436 on:** March 02, 2012, 06:15:05 AM »

Huh... I know the other version of that....

Ee, by gum,
Can your belly touch your bum?
Do your tits hang low?
Can you tie them in a bow?
No, no,no.

*SkaKitty* · « **Reply #2437 on:** March 02, 2012, 01:15:52 PM »

Quote from: toolazytoworktoobusytostop on March 02, 2012, 06:15:05 AM

Huh... I know the other version of that....

Ee, by gum,
Can your belly touch your bum?
Do your tits hang low?
Can you tie them in a bow?
No, no,no.

Haha is that the oop north version?

toolazytoworktoobusytostop · « **Reply #2438 on:** March 03, 2012, 07:01:07 AM »

Honey, where I'm from, "Ee, by gum." is something said by southerners.

Although you might appreciate this:

A Yorkshireman goes to the vet and says, "Can you 'ave a look at me cat, vet'nary?"

The vet says, "Of course, is he a Tom?"

"Nae, ya daft bugger!" replies the Yorkshireman, "I bought 'im with me!"

*SkaKitty* · « **Reply #2439 on:** March 03, 2012, 11:02:43 AM »

Quote from: toolazytoworktoobusytostop on March 03, 2012, 07:01:07 AM

Honey, where I'm from, "Ee, by gum." is something said by southerners.

Although you might appreciate this:

A Yorkshireman goes to the vet and says, "Can you 'ave a look at me cat, vet'nary?"

The vet says, "Of course, is he a Tom?"

"Nae, ya daft bugger!" replies the Yorkshireman, "I bought 'im with me!"

heehee

I guess you're further north than the pennines then!

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Author Topic: Conversational Oddities Redux (Read 144072 times)