Author Topic: Conversational Oddities Redux (Read 144072 times)

Vel · « **Reply #40 on:** May 07, 2006, 01:25:01 PM »

Edit: That was odd, but really not that funny, so here's something else.

Overheard walking down the street....

Woman: I can see your sins, missy.
Daughter: They're called "breasts", momma. Every woman has them.

S_C · « **Reply #41 on:** May 07, 2006, 07:01:54 PM »

Were they rehearsing for a theatre adaption of Carrie?

Vel · « **Reply #42 on:** May 07, 2006, 07:03:22 PM »

I should hope so. I couldn't figure out any other reason why they should've been quoting it.

TGU · « **Reply #43 on:** May 08, 2006, 10:48:21 AM »

Riding home from Oregon State University with a bunch of journalism students in a 15-passenger van:

"THIS IS NOT A PANTS-OPTIONAL VAN!"

Peebs · « **Reply #44 on:** May 08, 2006, 10:52:49 AM »

Scribbled in the margins of my calc notes:
"I WANT THESE MOTHERFUCKING VECTORS OFF MY MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!"

Feline · « **Reply #45 on:** May 08, 2006, 04:03:10 PM »

Quote from: LVBelleAme on May 08, 2006, 09:24:39 AM

Xtina: LMAO i would rather pluck my pubic hair with a spoon

But you need two spoons to pluck hair...
Honestly. You could dig them out with one, but you need two to pluck.

LoneCoon · « **Reply #46 on:** May 10, 2006, 12:44:16 PM »

TMisha999: hey
TMisha999: I got a piece of paper here with your name on it
LoneCoonWSU: Oh? What dos it da
TMisha999: highlighted in red
LoneCoonWSU: does it say?
TMisha999: it says Master Generalist at the top
TMisha999: with a bunch of names, looks like its for the month of April
LoneCoonWSU: What the hell?
TMisha999: Kathy Bowen, Michele Nunley, Denise French, Doris Neel
TMisha999: all the way down to your name
TMisha999: right above your name is "MCDSE"
LoneCoonWSU: ...
LoneCoonWSU: that's my scehdule.
LoneCoonWSU: For last month
LoneCoonWSU: I wodnered what the fuck i did with that.
TMisha999: all right! ::files it away in a drawer labelled 'Lonecoon Stalkercache'::
LoneCoonWSU: ...
TMisha999: I know nuffink

Samsally · « **Reply #47 on:** May 13, 2006, 06:32:28 PM »

OrangeMikka says:
*snirkgiggles* Your dad is kinker than my dad!
Trev says:
My dad works at a sex toy shop. I'm pretty sure it wasn't much of a competition.
OrangeMikka says:
oh yeah
OrangeMikka says:
Well that just sucked the fun right out of it.
Trev says:
haha

SteelAngelJohn · « **Reply #48 on:** May 13, 2006, 06:41:55 PM »

someone else: Color! Honor! Specialize!
ClockworkNinja: ALIMINIUM.
ClockworkNinja: ...*cries* Shut up!

Pixie · « **Reply #49 on:** May 13, 2006, 09:58:25 PM »

lil poiple ash: You may keep your genitals for now
AceCaseOR: whew
o0OsamsallyO0o: they keep better when attatched anyway
lil poiple ash: I donno
o0OsamsallyO0o: ^.^
EvilTwinPixie: Not if you preserve them right
lil poiple ash: you can do wonders with some of the modern tecniques
EvilTwinPixie: They're more useful unattached
EvilTwinPixie: you can use them for a host of everyday things
lil poiple ash: You can use them to bludgen people with
EvilTwinPixie: like knocking things down from high shelves
lil poiple ash: Plugging mouse holes in the wall
EvilTwinPixie: dressing them up and putting on puppet shows
lil poiple ash: Center piece for the table
EvilTwinPixie: Interesting table ornament

ninewhilenine · « **Reply #50 on:** May 14, 2006, 05:35:45 PM »

TMisha999 (9:21:57 PM): ::grows one tentacle::
nine wile nine (9:22:01 PM): LOL
nine wile nine (9:22:06 PM): no suckers? =(
TMisha999 (9:22:32 PM): yes suckers
nine wile nine (9:23:13 PM): *looks*
nine wile nine (9:23:26 PM): hmmm... maybe you should have a doctor look at that...
TMisha999 (9:24:20 PM): ::has sex with you first::
nine wile nine (9:25:01 PM): *bursts out in suckers*
nine wile nine (9:25:08 PM): AAAHHH! You gave it to me!
nine wile nine (9:25:14 PM): Lovecraft Disease!
TMisha999 (9:25:52 PM): ...suckers where?
nine wile nine (9:28:11 PM): embarassing places:-[
nine wile nine (9:28:17 PM): bathing suit areas!
TMisha999 (9:28:24 PM): ::shudders::
TMisha999 (9:28:34 PM): that gives me the jibblies
nine wile nine (9:29:36 PM): wot?
nine wile nine (9:29:56 PM): i see how it is!
TMisha999 (9:30:02 PM): the thought of suckers sprouting out all over your body
TMisha999 (9:30:09 PM): kinda creepy
nine wile nine (9:30:19 PM): it's ok for you to have suckers on your wang, but if *I* get them i'm creepy! *cries* RACIST!
nine wile nine (9:30:30 PM): you hate me cuz i'm a womayn
TMisha999 (9:30:30 PM): its not a wang its a tentacle!
nine wile nine (9:30:34 PM): hehehe
nine wile nine (9:30:41 PM): oh... i see...
TMisha999 (9:30:47 PM): ::shudder:: suckers on wang would be creepy too
nine wile nine (9:30:59 PM): i think it'd be kinda funny
nine wile nine (9:31:14 PM): in communist Innsmouth... BLOWJOB GIVE YOU!

machiavelli33 · « **Reply #51 on:** May 14, 2006, 05:41:51 PM »

Hahahahah oh jeez.

TeroWasHere · « **Reply #52 on:** May 15, 2006, 09:42:03 PM »

shreyas: there's a lot of sex in this song
shreyas: and you know what? That's what most songs have anyway
shreyas: "Hold me tight"
shreyas: bullshit
Antero: it sells, I hear.
Antero: haha
shreyas: "hold me tight....while fucking."
Antero: hahahahahhahaha
Antero: "I'm happy just to dance with you"
Antero: Liiiies.
shreyas: "hold me...please"
shreyas: "hold me...squeeze"
shreyas: "hold me"
shreyas: riiiight
Antero: "WITH YOUR PENIS"
shreyas: exactly
Antero: "(OR VAGINA IF A MAN IS COVERING IT)"
shreyas: I'm happy just to do the horizontal tango with you
shreyas: (YES)
Antero: haha
shreyas: I want to hold your hand
shreyas: seems innocuous
shreyas: and then
shreyas: "And when I touch you I feel happy inside"
Antero: "I Want To Hold Your Breasts" couldn't get past the censors.
shreyas: "It's such a feeling that my love...I can't hide"
shreyas: meaning, "when we have sex, I feel happy....in my penis"
Antero: hahahahaha

Vel · « **Reply #53 on:** May 16, 2006, 03:56:22 PM »

Best exchange ever:

"Oh man, that was so annoying!"
"*pause* Teabag."

Vel · « **Reply #54 on:** May 16, 2006, 05:53:54 PM »

Though I hate to double post...

dieplzOMG (8:33:55 PM): jeez.
dieplzOMG (8:33:58 PM): way to be a vaginal leper.
Ivyshadow (8:34:02 PM): Yep.
Ivyshadow (8:34:08 PM): *lepers all vaginal*
dieplzOMG (8:34:22 PM): oh snapasd.

Aleric · « **Reply #55 on:** May 18, 2006, 01:57:55 PM »

nine wile nine (5:56:28 PM): i have indeed returned.
nine wile nine (5:56:31 PM): w/boobs!
nine wile nine (5:56:35 PM): OMG
nine wile nine (5:56:38 PM): i meant books!
nine wile nine (5:56:40 PM): ahahahah
nine wile nine (5:56:48 PM): but i guess the boob thing is technically correct...

Lorelei · « **Reply #56 on:** May 18, 2006, 06:11:11 PM »

The kids and I were eating pepperoni while sitting on the couch. The dogs were begging relentlessly.

Me: "Sorry Jake, it's not pupperoni, you can't have any."
My youngest: "Yeah that's right! It's humaroni cause it's for HUMANS!"

Which was quickly followed by a puzzled look on her face while she contemplated what she had just said. I wish I had had the camera running.

S*S · « **Reply #57 on:** May 18, 2006, 09:29:22 PM »

TMisha999 (6:27:13 AM): yes Johnny I love splashing around in people's cum
TMisha999 (6:27:23 AM): I just -love- cum
TMisha999 (6:27:38 AM): I'm like a big...cum-fiend
TMisha999 (6:27:53 AM): king of cum!
TMisha999 (6:27:58 AM): ruler of Kingdom Cum!

machiavelli33 · « **Reply #58 on:** May 18, 2006, 09:31:04 PM »

Dammit there's....there's a reason for that!

LoneCoon · « **Reply #59 on:** May 18, 2006, 09:32:28 PM »

TMisha999 [1:26 A.M.]: hey now
TMisha999 [1:26 A.M.]: hey now now
Lonecoonphl [1:27 A.M.]: I dont' rember how that song goes
TMisha999 [1:27 A.M.]: i just -love- cum
Lonecoonphl [1:27 A.M.]: ...O_O
TMisha999 [1:28 A.M.]: wait no
TMisha999 [1:28 A.M.]: no no no
TMisha999 [1:28 A.M.]: that wasn't supposed to go to you
TMisha999 [1:28 A.M.]: shut up
TMisha999 [1:28 A.M.]: ...
Lonecoonphl [1:28 A.M.]: zomg
TMisha999 [1:28 A.M.]: SHUT UP

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Author Topic: Conversational Oddities Redux (Read 144072 times)