I didn't see one, so I'm starting it.  Please, if there already is a joke thread, sew this one onto it?

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher, whose hand
was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a
conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to former Texas Governor George W. Bush,
and his elevation to the White House.

The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'post turtle'."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post
turtle' was.

The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come
across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post  turtle."

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to
explain, "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't  belong there,
he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you  just want to help
the dumb shit get down!"

erm...

Here, you might need this...

*hands Miss Nicole an asbestos suit*

*and some running shoes*

That... wasn't funny.

The first day in a kindergarten class, the teacher is calling out roll.  She asks each child his or her name, to get them used to introducing themselves.  Then she gets to one little girl in particular.
Teacher:  And what's your name?
Girl: Happy Butt!
Teacher: What?!
Girl:  Happy Butt!
Teacher: (looks at roll)  It says here your name is Gadys.
Girl:  Glad Ass, Happy Butt, what's the difference!?

(sorry, it was my favorite joke in primary school  ^_^)

I find most racist/sexist/whateverist jokes funny so long as they have a good punchline and it's obvious that the person telling th joke doesn't buy into the philosophy it's making fun of.

That being said.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

You hear what happened to the Auschwitz baseball team after they lost the championship game?

They got sent back to the showers.

On the topic of border line jokes...

Q: What do you call a native american who practices medicine?

A: A doctor, you racist.

I find most racist/sexist/whateverist jokes funny so long as they have a good punchline and it's obvious that the person telling th joke doesn't buy into the philosophy it's making fun of.

Therein lies the rub.

If I am wrong about this, please do excuse me, but isn't Miss_Nicole the person who describes herself as a Nazi?

How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?

54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.

On the topic of border line jokes...

Q: What do you call a native american who practices medicine?

A: A doctor, you racist.

So, uh, what do you tell a black Jew?

"Go to the back of the oven!"

I'm actually okay with jokes like these three, because they're not making fun of a race, but of racism itself, and of horrible things racist people have done. By laughing at racists and racist thoughts and/or deeds, one reduces them to ineffectual bufoonery. Have any of you seen Blazing Saddles? That right there is a perfect example of the same thing: Disempowerment. The racists were presented as the least effective bad guys in history, and the discriminated-upon minorities are presented as the suave, cool, noble, and more importantly, smart good guys.

To keep it in the spirit. . . .


If a tree falls in the forest




And there's no one there's no one around to hear it.







 , , , do the other trees laugh at it?

Fuck me, I hope not, seeing as how I'm the guy who designed a non-collectible card game about serial killers.  ;D

I don't believe she describes herself as a Nazi, from my understanding she is just fascinated with that particular aspect of world history.

Yes, but things like "Ethnicity: German!!!" give me pause. It sometimes seems to me that there is more than just fascination with the topic at play, so I can see where S_C is coming from. Caveat emptor: despite my constant attempts to extricate myself from German guilt-induced groupthink, I'm not sure I am exactly neutral on that issue. I'm sure as hell withholding any and all judgement, though.