Don't be so quick to write it off simply as early bio-clock issues. It could be that you simply crave the unconditional love that comes with having a child. Kidlets tend to look up at you and love you just for being there. At least at first. And guess what? When one stops looking at you that way, it's a simple thing just to have another one! Woo!

It's disturbing to look at it that way, but it's a truly tempting thing for some people. There may be an emotional void in your life that you need to try to fill, but at least you're lucid enough to realize that you're not ready for a child. Some people don't have the ability to realize that the child has a right to a better life than they're either willing or able to provide. It's a form of sub-conscious (or conscious for some) self-medication.

Look at my ex wife, for example. She thought having kids would give her all the love she could ever need... So she had as many as her body would let her, and now she has ENORMOUSLY too many animals running around her tiny house. It sounds harsh and cruel, but I thank whatever powers exist (be it pure chance or some higher intelligence) that she stopped being able to breed.

In any case, I'd start taking a serious introspective look at your emotional state if I were in your shoes. You may discover that there's an alternate solution for filling that void. It gives me hope that you're not just grabbing the first puzzle-piece that seems to fit without looking. A lot of people do that, unfortunately.

Black Lace, mine was ticking pretty loudly from about age 17-22.  It settled down thereafter.  I suspect we're wired to want children while we are newly adult.  Instinct knows nothing about finance.  It does know a heck of a lot about predators, accidents, and untimely removal from the gene pool. 

Missed this the first time.  I'm glad that your babies looked up and adored you with unconditional love,  but that doesn't happen across the board, and your inane psychobabble is really fucking irritating.  People get dogs when they want something incapable of anything but abject praise and love.  Kids are a lot of fucking work, and the amount of time where they're sweet, loving, snuggly and affectionate is greatly outweighed by the times they're screaming, violent, abusive, overly clingy, tummy-achey, sick, throwing/burping up, peeing, pooping, PEEING ON YOU, etc.,.  The sweetness is SO sweet because it has a shit load to balance out.  I'm sure from the perspective of the non-caregiving parent it seems like sweet roses and endless adoration, but if that were the truth of it no amount of "just have enough to replace yourself" propaganda would be effective.

Vent:  Being exhausted from practice is one thing, being exhausted and having the fibromyalgia kick in is another one entirely!  Ow!  Tired.  Ow!

The fact is that we are hard-wired to respond positively to the little goobers when they are not driving us up the proverbial wall.  The reflex of "Ooo, baby!  Cute!  Make more!" is a function of our selfish genes, which have all the intelligence and morality of yeast.  The sane and moral response is pretty much what BL said she had, "WTF?  Not now, non, nyet, nein!" unless you really are ready and able to support your spawn.
Yay to BL for being sane and moral.

No, but it did sort of seem to make a leap that anyone wanting a child before they're ready is thoughtless, insecure and self-centred. For example-

 "In any case, I'd start taking a serious introspective look at your emotional state if I were in your shoes."

I find that a little insulting.

Sometimes it IS just biological. That's how the human race keeps reproducing, after all- it's a drive. Not everyone has it, but look at how many people stepped up and said "yeah, I felt it hard at that age, too".

And for the record, I'm one of them.

All in favor of reproduction in vatro, raise an appendage.

Fae, I don't know Aeryvyn personally and even I don't think he was insinuating that all people have kids to fill a void.

Some people do.  My reading of his post was that he was simply narrating what his personal experience was and offering that experience as an alternative.

If you wish to read an insult in that, that is certainly up to you.  But I think your reading of it has more to do with how you personally feel about Aer than anything else.  My opinion, and I'm sticking to it.

And just to note:  I do not want a baby. I like babies, but I don't want one.

I do, however, want 9000 kittens. 

I wouldn't mind adopting kids. Spawning my own is utterly out of the question. But adopting, I could do. After all, *someone* has to run my empire when I'm gone.* So I figure I could use an heiress.

Besides, there's something about molding an innocent, impressionable lump of human clay into whatever image my twisted mind desires that appeals to my inner megalomaniac.

See kids? See how your Uncle Bunner has molded you into violently intelligent little sociopaths? Now put the bunny in the blender and hit "frappe", like a good little minion.


*looks over at his clean Vulnerable Sector Criminal Record check with a sense of amusement*

..... So, I just blew my chances of adopting, huh?


*On vacation, that is.

Okay. Normally once something I've said results in a "heated debate" of this magnitude, I back off for fear of making things worse. I hate seeing folks arguing. But for once I think adding my two cents might satisfy all parties involved.

I've done a fair bit of meditating on this whole thing. I'm pretty firmly convinced that having a Donna Jr. running around the joint is a biological impulse. With that being said, I suspect that various issues I'm dealing with now and/or had to deal with in the past played a large role in the bio-clock going off at such an inconvenient time.

My father got sick when I was 12, and life pretty much went to hell after that. Daddy got sicker and sicker, Mom got more stressed. Daddy didn't live to see me graduate elementary school, and my mother's ability to cope flew out the window. I essentially lost both of my parents then. Mom started drinking heavily and basically treated me more like a friend than a daughter. She let me get away with -everything-. I asked her if I could start drinking when I was 14 and she said yes. How's that for good parenting?

Basically, the past six years I've had no semblance of structure what-so-ever. There were times when I felt more like I was the parent. At one point I had to padlock the bloody fridge shut to keep Mom from drinking herself sick.

I'm still really resentful of all this. My mother wasn't there for me during a time when a kid NEEDS someone to keep them under control. Long story short, I decided that if I had kids, they'd receive all the care and support that I didn't. Then shortly after I started college, I saw all these women who had apparently had kids before they were ready. I would watch them so intently, observing the way some of them seemed to be naturals, while others...welllllll...to put it as kindly as possible, they seemed like they'd give their left tit to turn back time. I'd observe the way the kids were developing differently, and the way their mothers' attitudes seemed to make such a difference, and I'd find myself thinking, "Wow. That's amazing." I guess it was around that time that I decided with absolute certainty that SOMEDAY I was going to have kids. Unfortunately the clock started ticking shortly afterward. With that being said, I had no intention of heeding the call. I still don't.

I'm sure that my strong desire to have a family stems from the fact that I didn't have much of one after I hit puberty, and that may be why my clock is ticking so early, but I'd like to think that my desire to get married and raise children isn't an unhealthy one. Besides, even though I do REALLY want to have a baby, I don't plan on actually doing it until I have the means to give it the life it deserves.