Author Topic: Venting (Read 1152702 times)

NoxEquites · « **Reply #31320 on:** February 21, 2012, 05:06:58 PM »

Human mating behaviors indicate that if a supreme being(s) exists he/she/it/they is/are maltheistic.

Count PuPPula · « **Reply #31321 on:** February 21, 2012, 05:18:17 PM »

Iunno. There's enough good that comes out of it that I think at the most it suggests amorality. Or an experimental attitude!

Norq · « **Reply #31322 on:** February 21, 2012, 07:17:49 PM »

My cat is going to kill herself or me. Seriously, what part of a tub full of sharp, potentially poisonous things makes her think "whee toys!"????

Any suggestions for training her to stay off the counters and away from the sink?

stargazer2 · « **Reply #31323 on:** February 21, 2012, 08:04:21 PM »

Quote from: Norq on February 21, 2012, 07:17:49 PM

My cat is going to kill herself or me. Seriously, what part of a tub full of sharp, potentially poisonous things makes her think "whee toys!"????

Any suggestions for training her to stay off the counters and away from the sink?

Squirt bottle or super soaker? Even Lurch eventually realizes he has to stop doing something if I squirt him often enough. Fester quits the second I pick it up (or shake it if he didn't see me grab it), and Demi hasn't really been in trouble often enough to recognize it yet (I've never met a more obedient cat).

Valdrin · « **Reply #31324 on:** February 21, 2012, 08:53:07 PM »

Boomer only squints if she gets spritzed with a water bottle. She is, however, deathly afraid of the Swiffer.

TGU · « **Reply #31325 on:** February 22, 2012, 12:10:41 AM »

My ex had good luck using a Nerf gun to train his cat to stay off counters and tables. Only trick with that method is making sure you're not aiming for the face - I can't imagine that a Nerf dart to the eye would be good for a kitty.

S*S · « **Reply #31326 on:** February 22, 2012, 06:13:02 AM »

Quote from: S_C on February 21, 2012, 04:10:42 PM

Hey S*S, who broke it off?

Cos, if I were in love with someone and they stopped being in love with me, being around them would indeed be more pain then pleasure for me, and I would not wish to have contact with them til it felt less like being flayed.

But if she broke it off... I guess bitchez be crazy.

I broke up with her.

I guess I just don't get that mindset. If I like someone that much, I want to be around them, even if they don't love me any more. If I wanted to spend a large portion of my time with them as a lover, then I surely want to spend a probably smaller allocation of time as their friend. She's said she doesn't want to hang out any more, not that she needs recovery time.

It just seems like a very hollow thing to never maintain relationships that outweigh or are otherwise worth the pain of rejection. And yet people tout it as evidence of the ability to care. It throws the whole miserable shambles into hollywood bullshit territory.

oh knee · « **Reply #31327 on:** February 22, 2012, 07:57:09 AM »

Quote from: Norq on February 21, 2012, 07:17:49 PM

My cat is going to kill herself or me. Seriously, what part of a tub full of sharp, potentially poisonous things makes her think "whee toys!"????

Any suggestions for training her to stay off the counters and away from the sink?

Double-sided tape is supposed to work.

Our cat is afraid of the water spritz bottle and will run if I point it at her and try to spritz, but she hasn't actually learned anything from it - like, she returns to her activity right after you try to spray her.

*SkaKitty* · « **Reply #31328 on:** February 22, 2012, 12:02:58 PM »

Quote from: S*S on February 22, 2012, 06:13:02 AM

I broke up with her.

I guess I just don't get that mindset. If I like someone that much, I want to be around them, even if they don't love me any more. If I wanted to spend a large portion of my time with them as a lover, then I surely want to spend a probably smaller allocation of time as their friend. She's said she doesn't want to hang out any more, not that she needs recovery time.

It just seems like a very hollow thing to never maintain relationships that outweigh or are otherwise worth the pain of rejection. And yet people tout it as evidence of the ability to care. It throws the whole miserable shambles into hollywood bullshit territory.

From what i've read, I think she does need recovery time but is just not admitting this to you. Her reaction when you broke up with her after a few dates was quite extreme, and so i'm guessing she has quite black and white thinking- so if you won't be her lover, you can't be her friend at all, or something along those lines.

People say that never maintaining relationships that outweigh the pain of rejection shows an ability to care about someone?
Can you explain this a bit, i'm confused?

stargazer2 · « **Reply #31329 on:** February 22, 2012, 12:20:04 PM »

ACS makes my brain hurt. I no longer have any idea how in the HELL my payments are working, because no matter what we set up, they STILL allocate the money I send them however they damn well please. Since that approach seems to cause delinquency every few months, I can only conclude they are doing it for their own gain. And the fellow I talked to, over and above his accent, has no ability to express himself clearly. I'll have to call them again tomorrow no doubt, to ensure everything was done correctly.

S*S · « **Reply #31330 on:** February 23, 2012, 05:24:56 PM »

Quote from: *SkaKitty* on February 22, 2012, 12:02:58 PM

People say that never maintaining relationships that outweigh the pain of rejection shows an ability to care about someone?
Can you explain this a bit, i'm confused?

Basically everyone I've expressed confusion about this mindset to, both now and in the past, has said some variant of "Well, yeah, it figures. She's hurting, it's too painful to see you. It doesn't mean she's fickle and angry, it means that her emotions were so strong that this disappointment and rejection makes it impossible for her to see you right now".

Some (though certainly not all) of the people who say this are the same assholes that think I'm some kind of cyborg because of the way I react to breakups. The implication is clear; if you are willing and able to sever all ties with a person after you break up, it means they mean a lot to you. If you elect to instead bull through it because you don't want to let your sadness rule you and don't want to risk falling out of touch with the person, then it means they clearly DIDN'T mean that much to you, and also your emotions are those of a totally alien psychology.

Heh, "I Don't Believe You" by the Magnetic Fields came on just as I finished that paragraph. Outstanding!

Valdrin · « **Reply #31331 on:** February 23, 2012, 09:24:10 PM »

I had an appointment at the hospital to get an MRI done today. Tonight. 10pm tonight. I remembered about all week long UNTIL TONIGHT. Yeah. Fucking up and forgot about it. So I missed my appointment and now I have to call them and reschedule. Possibility of a charge for missing the appointment, no idea. I thought to myself earlier "gee, I should set my alarm" but I didn't.

FUCK.

Super fucking annoyed with myself now. SUPER fucking annoyed. Ugh... y'know, I'd love to be something other than an eternal fuck-up. Could we manage that, somehow, please?

*SkaKitty* · « **Reply #31332 on:** February 24, 2012, 09:14:52 AM »

Quote from: S*S on February 23, 2012, 05:24:56 PM

Basically everyone I've expressed confusion about this mindset to, both now and in the past, has said some variant of "Well, yeah, it figures. She's hurting, it's too painful to see you. It doesn't mean she's fickle and angry, it means that her emotions were so strong that this disappointment and rejection makes it impossible for her to see you right now".

Yeah, i would think this is quite a common feeling if you've been with someone awhile and you then break up (especially if you didn't initiate the split) because if you still love that person and you didn't want to break up with them, seeing them as a friend at first is just a constant reminder that your relationship will never be the same again, and that's tough to deal with.
I agree that after some time has passed, you can be friends again and enjoy each other's company.

(i'm talking about long term relationships (whatever that means to you) not just after a few dates)

*SkaKitty* · « **Reply #31333 on:** February 24, 2012, 09:27:53 AM »

Quote from: S*S on February 23, 2012, 05:24:56 PM

Some (though certainly not all) of the people who say this are the same assholes that think I'm some kind of cyborg because of the way I react to breakups. The implication is clear; if you are willing and able to sever all ties with a person after you break up, it means they mean a lot to you. If you elect to instead bull through it because you don't want to let your sadness rule you and don't want to risk falling out of touch with the person, then it means they clearly DIDN'T mean that much to you, and also your emotions are those of a totally alien psychology.

I think this is a really subjective issue. It depends on a lot of factors like if there was deceit involved, a loss of trust, cheating- basically if the actions leading to the break up caused a lot of pain to one person, why would they want to be friends with the other person immediately?

If the break up was mutual or amicable, there won't be so much sadness to 'bull' through and an immediate friendship would be easy.

I think it all depends on what makes you sad/upset i think.

*SkaKitty* · « **Reply #31334 on:** February 24, 2012, 09:28:39 AM »

Quote from: S*S on February 23, 2012, 05:24:56 PM

Some (though certainly not all) of the people who say this are the same assholes that think I'm some kind of cyborg because of the way I react to breakups. The implication is clear; if you are willing and able to sever all ties with a person after you break up, it means they mean a lot to you. If you elect to instead bull through it because you don't want to let your sadness rule you and don't want to risk falling out of touch with the person, then it means they clearly DIDN'T mean that much to you, and also your emotions are those of a totally alien psychology.

I think this is a really subjective issue. It depends on a lot of factors like if there was deceit involved, a loss of trust, cheating- basically if the actions leading to the break up caused a lot of pain to one person, why would they want to be friends with the other person immediately?

If the break up was mutual or amicable, there won't be so much sadness to 'bull' through and an immediate friendship would be easy.

I think it all depends on what makes you sad/upset i think.

Count PuPPula · « **Reply #31335 on:** February 24, 2012, 11:58:28 AM »

I don't want to believe so many people are just so stupid... But I'm not sure that it would be any less depressing if they weren't stupid and just don't bother trying to understand anything...

Narcissa · « **Reply #31336 on:** February 24, 2012, 12:16:15 PM »

My tummy hurts and I don't know if you can overdose on B vitamins but I had a five-hour energy and a multivitamin and now I'm eating pretzels made with enriched flour and I'm worried.

Meh.

catfishncod · « **Reply #31337 on:** February 24, 2012, 05:59:34 PM »

Quote from: Narcissa on February 24, 2012, 12:16:15 PM

My tummy hurts and I don't know if you can overdose on B vitamins but I had a five-hour energy and a multivitamin and now I'm eating pretzels made with enriched flour and I'm worried.

Meh.

Niacin can make you flush but it is pretty hard to overdose on B's: they are water soluble and excess gets filtered fast.

Excess caffeine, otoh, is known to promote anxiety.

Scix · « **Reply #31338 on:** February 24, 2012, 07:30:22 PM »

What is it with medical things sending BILLS for things already paid for? Now I have to call or visit to make sure they know I paid. I hate going there.

TGU · « **Reply #31339 on:** February 25, 2012, 12:53:44 AM »

It looks like my brother and I are going to be staging a sort of intervention for my dad on Sunday.

For a few years now, on top of the anxiety and clinical depression, he's been dealing with what he calls fainting spells. He doesn't actually faint though: he never looses consciousness. My mom finally called his doctor and described what these spells are like in detail. My dad is having seizures. Not massive ones, not like grande mals, but he trembles and looses balance and coordination. Several times he's fallen when these hit, particularly since they only ever happen when he stands up after sitting down for a while - and now recently he's had them after getting up out of bed.

He refuses to go to the doctor about it.

I told mom tonight that the next time it happens she should call an ambulance, but she said the problem is that he never looses consciousness, which means he is still the one with control over his medical care, and she doesn't doubt at all that he'll refuse treatment.

So now the plan is for my brother and I to go over on Sunday and try to convince him to make an appointment with a neurologist. Maybe having his kids tell him how scared we are about his health will get through to him.

This is going to be a rough weekend.

Active Threads

Personal Menu

Calendar

Author Topic: Venting (Read 1152702 times)