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Index — Someone should die for this... Pages: [1]
Kyle J Cardoza    Topic opened May 26, 2008, 11:25:07 PM
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You're surrounded by armed bastards!

Okay, so Marvel has seriously pissed me off with what they're doing to Spidey. Here's the deal:

The Kingpin had Aunt May shot. She was dying. Mephisto shows up, and offers Peter and MJ a deal: They consent to having their marriage erased from history, and Aunt May gets to live. They agonize over it for a while, and just as the story reaches the inevitable conclusion, wherein Peter and MJ tell Brimstone Breath to shove his deal up his demonic arsehole, they turn 180º and say yes.

So now they were never married, nobody can remember who was revealed when Spider-Man unmasked on live TV, and Aunt May is denied a tragic end.

Just wait, it gets worse.

MJ whispered something into Mephisto's ear just before he erased their marriage. Now (a woman who at least strongly resembles) MJ is running around as the super-heroine  "Jackpot" (*twitch*), and, to make it even worse, see the attached pic.

Yes, that's Faust she's reading. I think I may vomit.


asm50.png (410.57 KB, 465x531 - viewed 67 times.)
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Gene: He's a bum bandit; do you understand? A poof, a fairy, a queer, a queen, fudge-packer, uphill gardener, fruit picking sodomite.
Sam: He's gay?
Gene: As a bloody Christmas tree!

12595_mr._tester.png
NoxEquites Reply #1 in [Amazing Spider-Man] Brand New Day — Posted May 27, 2008, 01:16:59 AM

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I make shiny things, you need them.

Well you know people do stupid things for love. Is it any worse a choice than Faust of legend who originally only wanted to save folks from the plague by making deal with Mephistopheles?
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I have shinies you want. http://kinshar.dreamhosters.com/
Adam the Alien Reply #2 in [Amazing Spider-Man] Brand New Day — Posted May 27, 2008, 06:13:16 AM

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Penis.

*sigh*

Spider-Man was actually fun to read again, for a while there. So much for that.

I'm a big advocate for "let your characters change"...but this is "Hey, let's revert the character to a previous state instead of moving him forward! Even better, let's do it with MAGIC so that we can completely ignore the state of things as they are now!"
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"I wonder if I should change [my personal text]."
"Just put, 'penis'"
"Why 'penis'?"
"Because it'll make everyone go, 'Why 'penis'?'"

HH2 Character: Drink ~~ Just Yell Fire

89649_mr._bugfinder.png
Major Reply #3 in [Amazing Spider-Man] Brand New Day — Posted May 27, 2008, 11:40:39 AM
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There should be a special place by Mephisto's BBQ pit for the jerk that came up with this idea.  Aunt May has been balancing picturesquely with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel since the mid-sixties, and this deal bought her a few more years of dwindling at the cost of actually letting Pete and MJ progress in their lives.
There is a huge gap between creative use of source material and cute, arch references to those sources.  They have done some asinine things to Spidey's continuity, like giving Norman Osborn a dirty weekend with Gwen Stacy, but this takes the steaming cake of dumb.
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"For the want of a nail, the shoe was lost.  For the want of the shoe, the horse was lost.  For the want of the horse, the man was lost.  For the want of the man, the battle was lost, and all for the want of a horseshoe nail.  'Tis a darlin' proverb, a darlin' proverb."  Joxer Daly, in "Juno and the Paycock"
NoxEquites Reply #4 in [Amazing Spider-Man] Brand New Day — Posted May 27, 2008, 11:50:35 AM

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I make shiny things, you need them.

Maybe Spidey is a victim of his own success?
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Adam the Alien Reply #5 in [Amazing Spider-Man] Brand New Day — Posted May 27, 2008, 03:05:13 PM

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Penis.

There should be a special place by Mephisto's BBQ pit for the jerk that came up with this idea.  Aunt May has been balancing picturesquely with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel since the mid-sixties, and this deal bought her a few more years of dwindling at the cost of actually letting Pete and MJ progress in their lives.

Heck, Aunt May was dead for a while. Oh, wait, no, it was really genetically altered actress while she was being held captive. >.< ARGH!
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"I wonder if I should change [my personal text]."
"Just put, 'penis'"
"Why 'penis'?"
"Because it'll make everyone go, 'Why 'penis'?'"

HH2 Character: Drink ~~ Just Yell Fire

89649_mr._bugfinder.png
Lady Malchav Reply #6 in [Amazing Spider-Man] Brand New Day — Posted May 27, 2008, 05:23:18 PM

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I was about to say...

Aunt May got one of the best deaths in comic book history already, and they just dragged her back anyway.
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-"There's a time and a place for everything, and I believe it's called fanfiction." -Joss Whedon-
Why all this fuss about canon - and, indeed, continuity - in a show about a man who changes history for a living? -Steven Moffat-
Kyle J Cardoza Reply #7 in [Amazing Spider-Man] Brand New Day — Posted May 27, 2008, 06:11:02 PM
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You're surrounded by armed bastards!

The right thing would have been to do exactly as they did right up 'till the choice was made, and then diverge, having Peter and MJ realize that, if she knew, Aunt May would forbid them to save her at that price. Peter and MJ, instead, desecrated their lives to save someone who'll never know she was saved, and wouldn't have wanted it if she had.

Or maybe I'm just projecting my own Aunt (who bears a very large resemblance!) onto May. Dunno.
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Gene: He's a bum bandit; do you understand? A poof, a fairy, a queer, a queen, fudge-packer, uphill gardener, fruit picking sodomite.
Sam: He's gay?
Gene: As a bloody Christmas tree!

12595_mr._tester.png
Adam the Alien Reply #8 in [Amazing Spider-Man] Brand New Day — Posted May 27, 2008, 09:26:19 PM

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Penis.

You're not projecting. Aunt May would be seriously pissed if she found out.

That's the only thing this plot has any potential in, really - somehow, at some point, Aunt May remembers the truth and verbally bitchslaps not only Peter and MJ, but Mephisto himself (the way she's been written in recent years, at least from what I've read, I have no doubt she'd have the balls to do that).
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"I wonder if I should change [my personal text]."
"Just put, 'penis'"
"Why 'penis'?"
"Because it'll make everyone go, 'Why 'penis'?'"

HH2 Character: Drink ~~ Just Yell Fire

89649_mr._bugfinder.png
Valdrin Reply #9 in [Amazing Spider-Man] Brand New Day — Posted May 27, 2008, 09:33:56 PM
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Man... and I thought the whole clone-saga fiasco from years back was bad.  This... I mean... this is... I... but...

I stopped being actively interested in Spidey comics (still love the character!) after the aforementioned clone bullshit.  This just solidifies my stance.
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Where Val's writing goes: http://valdrin.deviantart.com/
"They say you can never love another til you love yourself / Well brother I'm in love with everyone I see. / It's only me." --BNL, It's Only Me (The Wizard of Magicland)
"It seemed that happily ever after / Was happy everyone was after me." --BNL, One Little Slip
Kyle J Cardoza Reply #10 in [Amazing Spider-Man] Brand New Day — Posted May 27, 2008, 09:54:54 PM
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You're surrounded by armed bastards!

Unlike this, there were at least a couple of things about the whole Clone Saga that didn't completely suck. For example, the updated Spider-Man costume was quite nice, and lives on in Amazing Spider-Girl.

I liked where Civil War had left Spidey. His ID was public, She-Hulk saved his ass from being sued off by J. Jonah Jameson, he fought on both sides of the Civil War, and he could have been pardoned with the others at the end of the war, so he wouldn't be a fugitive anymore. Aunt May could have finally gone to her Ben, Peter and MJ could have finally had the children they were meant to, and the whole series could have evolved into something cooler. But no; they've taken a thirty-year leap backwards, fucking over every single fan with a three-digit IQ.

Thanks, Marvel!
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Gene: He's a bum bandit; do you understand? A poof, a fairy, a queer, a queen, fudge-packer, uphill gardener, fruit picking sodomite.
Sam: He's gay?
Gene: As a bloody Christmas tree!

12595_mr._tester.png
da chicken Reply #11 in [Amazing Spider-Man] Brand New Day — Posted May 27, 2008, 10:10:05 PM

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It's a joke. Laugh.

That's the difference between Marvel and DC.  Marvel has really good characters in really good stories, but they fuck everything up now and then and shoot themselves in the foot.  DC has ok characters in pretty good stories, but they're the same damn stories over and over, and when they do change things it's always for the worse so they have to find a reason to go back to what they were doing before.

They're the exact same, but slightly different.  Mainly in that DC never does anything right, and Marvel never admits they were wrong.
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"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit." -- Oscar Wilde

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -- Carl Sagan

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Kyle J Cardoza Reply #12 in [Amazing Spider-Man] Brand New Day — Posted May 27, 2008, 10:43:32 PM
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You're surrounded by armed bastards!

I think what bugs me the most is the idea inherent in this kind of thing, that comic book characters never ageing, having kids, or dying is somehow a good thing. That's three-panel newspaper funnies shit, for fuck's sake! Spider-Man has always been about growing up, right from Amazing Fantasy #15. Spider-Man started out as a teenager. When Uncle Ben was murdered, it aged Spidey into a hero. When they killed off Gwen Stacy, it made Spidey grow further. He grew again, when he married MJ. He grew up even more, when he revealed his identity to the public.

Aunt May finally dying (preferably in a touching six-issue miniseries devoted just to the process of saying goodbye, mourning, and letting go of the woman who helped make him the man he is), Peter dealing with being a fugitive, and then a celebrity, in and out of costume, having to quit teaching high school, finding paying work as Spider-Man, and he and MJ having a bunch of little Spider-Children, all the while fighting the good fight, win, lose, or stand-off, is the way the story should go. Fighting the natural evolution of a story in the name of Status Quo is what turns potentially good stories bad, bad stories worse, and devoted readers into vicious critics.
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Gene: He's a bum bandit; do you understand? A poof, a fairy, a queer, a queen, fudge-packer, uphill gardener, fruit picking sodomite.
Sam: He's gay?
Gene: As a bloody Christmas tree!

12595_mr._tester.png
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