So this is my 1st debate topic--perhaps more of a discussion--but overall, I'm writing this b/c I found this article and would love to discuss it.

Facebook Users Who Are Under Age Raise Concerns

The thrust of the article has to do with the problem of minors lying about their ages to get access to social networks and online gaming.
A complicating factor is that many parents are either suggesting this lying to their children or outright setting their children's ages wrong.   In my job I work with kids, and I know that a lot of them actively to lie to get on places like Facebook, or some of the MMOs like Runescape.

I am of two minds on this, the first being that, many children are not the artful delicate hothouse flowers, which society seems to think they are.

Lovely Bride, when she was an early teenager tended to hang out with 18 year olds and even a few 20somethings and she turned out okay.  One of my longest ongoing online friendships started in a chat room, with someone who was a few months from 18 and was in my early 20s.

On the other hand, I want to protect kids.  I know what an idiot I was when I was a teenager, and to combine that stupidity with the networked power of the Internet is a scary thing.  The UNSEE factor is makes literally glad I'm not growing up in my kid's world.  Once you SEE something, you can't UNSEE it.  A teenager shouldn't know about any of the darker memes.  I live in dread of having to explain an answer to the question "Dad, what's Goatse?"

I still think that a person's identity is forming and being online chatting with older people, or chatting with people who think you are older can have negative consequences.  

Now ignoring for the moment the idea of predatory folks, looking for young folks, I think age is a factor in what topics you'll talk about.  If, through work, I'm running a Munchkin game and a pack of 6th graders want to take part, I'll comb through the deck to pull some of the more cheeky cards.  This is something I wouldn't do if highschoolers are playing.

To provide a more extreme example.  I have another friend.  She's been chatting online since she was thirteen--not with me mind you--but she's been chatting with fellas since she was thirteen and lying about her age since the beginning. Her literal life dream is to be enslaved.  She wants an older man to control every aspect of her life.  A part of me honestly wonders if she would be this way if she hadn't pretended to be older online during her formative years.  

So what do you think?

I never had the internet growing up.

If I'd had,

Adult topics included and especially,

I would not have attempted suicide at 16.

First, I'm going to observe in passing that, this is kind of a funny place to have this debate, and I'm really interested in the outcome.  Seems to me more than one forumite celebrated multiple 19th birthdays, back in the day.

We are in the process of parenting a teenager here - now 15.  I grew up completely without internet, while my husband, who is somewhat younger than me, had some access to it, I believe as an older teen.  However, even in that time, the landscape has changed radically. 

I think that ultimately, the decision of whether and how much to attempt to censor and control access has to lie with the parents.  While this sometimes leads to excessive, or not enough control, it's ultimately the parent who knows the child's maturity level and the values they are trying to imbue the best.  To that end, I have occassionally allowed my daughter to lie and mis-state her age.  I also require her computer and all her accounts to be completely accessible to me.  I don't check them often; I don't feel a need.  She's got a very long track record of coming to me with anything at all, including asking permission (as recently as a month ago) to sign up as older than she is for a website.  For the record, I gave it, because it's a social site for weight loss, and I can't honestly see any real harm in it for her.

Reality is, the most corrupting stuff she sees and hears is probably through her friends.  She brings most of that to me for discussion, though it's clear that there are lots of sexual practices she's heard about that she's not quite ready to ask me about.  Probably thinks she's protecting me, but again, I'm not worried, because if she knew people who were DOING those particular things, or asking her to, I know she'd bring it up if it made her uncomfortable.

Since I'm careful not to display shock (even when I feel it), and to give her my honest opinion, she feels comfortable discussing things. 

All of this said, the other side of the coin is how people interact with her, thinking she's older.  This is why I have her ask permission to lie.  She didn't get permission to lie to join Myspace or Facebook.  She wouldn't get permission to lie to join a place like, say this forum.   In places where the focus really is on socializing, it's unwise to set up a situation where a guy could legitimately say "but she told me she was 18!"  Not for her sake, for his.  It would be really, REALLY poor parenting to allow her to give out that lie, and then expect people to treat her as her actual age, rather than stated.  So I try to consider the consequences.

As for Enso's example of the teenager who wants to be 'enslaved', as someone who grew up pre-internet, I suspect that's basically a type of teenage behavior, having nothing to do with internet access or the lack thereof.  I knew plenty of girls in high school who preferred older guys, and one who, at 15, was living with her 28-year-old boyfriend, who pretty much made all the decisions.  That's how she liked it; at least at that time.  I can't say what she might be like today; I myself was a far more passive and submissive woman at 18 than I am today.

Long post, but what it boils down to is this:  I see that there is a problem with lying about age from a social standpoint.  I think it's a gray area, and try to balance my teen's needs and maturity against the rules.  I then try to explain my decision-making process to my daughter, because she's less likely to do an end run around me if she understands that maybe it's not based on her maturity level, but out of consideration for other people or other factors.

It's funny that you mention Munchkin. I played it for the first time today, and on the way home my husband mentioned that he was unsure about any future kids of ours playing it while they are young--not because of possible unsuitable cards, but because of the backstabbing nature of certain parts of the game. He thought it could be upsetting or lead to arguments with younger kids. I thought it was a moot point, because it's a pretty complex game, and younger kids probably wouldn't be able to follow it very well anyway--by the time I had a lot of cards built up on the table, I was having a lot of trouble keeping up with them to make sure I wasn't breaking the rules.

I joined this forum when I was sixteen. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have. I sometimes look back and just -cringe- at how melodramatic I was.

On the other hand, though... it really, really helped me. Then XForums, I learned so much- and not things that I wish I could un-learn, either. I do feel that I didn't necessarily possess the emotion maturity not to be really annoying, but then, I might not NOW at (almost) 23 either.

It probably wasn't appropriate for me to have joined at 16, just for the benefit of other members of the forum- but it was immensely helpful to encounter the world views of people very different from myself and my direct family in an open sort of way. The sex forum in particular was really, really, REALLY, REAALLLYYYYYYYYY fucking helpful. If Adam hadn't convinced me to lie about my age- which I felt really guilty for!- I wouldn't be the same person I am today.

I mean. Seriously. There were things I couldn't -talk- to people about, and it would've severely messed me up if I hadn't found some way of asking questions and understanding things.

So I guess my point is, I'm conflicted?

- But for reference, at sixteen I was in college and interacting with mostly post-18 year olds anyway.

And another thing is- I think my -most- melodramatic times were when I was actually 18+. =/

I don't have kids yet, but when I do I will have no problem with them signing up for Facebook before the age of 13, so long as they're friends with me and I can monitor what they're doing if necessary. Heck, I might even set up an account for them at birth so I can properly tag the baby pictures.