Author Topic: The dark side of social networking. (Read 2059 times)

Sock · « **on:** July 11, 2010, 10:47:00 PM »

Today I was reading an article on Cracked about various guilty pleasures the internet killed, and one of them happened to be the fine art of social shunning.

Link included for reference: http://www.cracked.com/article_18531_5-guilty-pleasures-web-killed-while-you-werent-looking_p2.html

Generally speaking I read Cracked purely for entertainment purposes, but they make a very good point in this article. Basically, they're saying that social networking sites like Facebook have pretty much killed your ability to intentionally lose touch with people. Back in the day, all you needed to do to nudge someone out of your social circle was claim to be busy and "lose" their phone number. These days, with everyone and his brother having a Facebook account, it's damn near impossible. Even if you delete and/or block whatever sorry schmuck you're trying to avoid, chances are good that at least one of your friends has the person on their friends list. With that being the case, it's just a matter of time until they realize you've blocked/deleted them and make a great big stink about it.

Even if you're clever and leave them unblocked and just make damn sure they don't get invited to any of your Facebook events, chances are someone's going to get pictures, post them, and the bastard is going to see them and pitch a fit.

Bleeding Heart types might argue that it's disrespectful to the person in question to just cut them out of your life without having the decency to tell them that you don't want anything to do with them, but lets face it; many people don't possess the emotional maturity necessary to accept it without making your life a living hell. It might be considered the coward's way out, but intentionally losing touch is one of the few ways you can distance yourself from people who annoy the piss out of you without leaving a body count.

I don't know if I would go so far as to call this debate-worthy. I'm mainly just interested in hearing opinions on the subject. Have you fallen victim to the dark side of social networking? Got horror stories? Think this topic is a waste of bandwidth? Lets hear it.

Pixie · « **Reply #1 on:** July 11, 2010, 10:53:04 PM »

EEeeh, from the other side, it sucks to be dropped and constantly be reminded of it through social networking. It would be nice to be able to believe a certain group is just busy, but when they're constantly posting pictures of the parties you weren't invited to, it kind of makes it clear that you're just not welcome.

But I don't think it outweighs the benefits. Being able to update all the people who are important to me, no matter how scattered they might be, all at once is very useful. I can upload a picture, and I know it's going to be seen by my mum, Ben's mum, and, say, Z.

machiavelli33 · « **Reply #2 on:** July 11, 2010, 11:55:38 PM »

I'm generally all for social networking, with the added bonus of generally liking people too much to shun them.
If I seriously have a problem with someone on my friends list, I take them off my friend list, or block them, as usually there's a damn good reason for it.

I could espouse my support of social networking stuff, but I think its merits are pretty obvious enough for me not to go on about it.

007bistromath · « **Reply #3 on:** July 12, 2010, 08:21:08 AM »

Social networking is a bad idea in the first place. Would you put all that information into a government database? If so, you are stupid, and if not, then why would you put it into a database owned by a company that has no real legal responsibility to keep your information private, nor any financial incentive to, since its actual customers are advertisers? The way these things work, you don't even have to put anything meaningful into them to have your privacy invaded, because using modern techniques, absolutely anything can be learned about you by observing who you are connected to within the network. Participating in these sites is a bad move, period.

S*S · « **Reply #4 on:** July 12, 2010, 08:39:02 AM »

You're not paranoid enough, Bistro. I am sure the government could conceivably learn absolutely anything it wished to about me and my habits, without even having to log in to Facebook

Edit: Having said that, there's a world of difference between "our information is everywhere because that's how society works now and there's nothing innately malicious about that" and "collating your information for advertisers without even being paid for it."

Kyle J Cardoza · « **Reply #5 on:** July 12, 2010, 09:06:48 AM »

Ultimately, privacy is something you do, not something you have; by which I mean, it is a set of behaviours, rather than some object to be given, taken, and/or traded. The nature of the Internet is to spread information; if you don't want it all over the place, ultimately, the only way is to not put it out there at all.

Scix · « **Reply #6 on:** July 12, 2010, 11:15:50 AM »

I think shunning sucks.

That said, you absolutely can shun on Facebook.

machiavelli33 · « **Reply #7 on:** July 12, 2010, 01:12:15 PM »

Hey I think social networking is great precisely -because- it disseminates my information.
I'm an artist. All of my information is linked to the work I do. I want to get my name out there.
Finding my information (full name, address, cell phone, email) is the easiest thing in the world to do if you have half a brain for using Google, and I want it that way.
That way, if you want me to make something for you, I'm only five seconds of searching and a phone call away.

And heck, technically my info -is- in a government database. I did register for an ID at the DMV, after all.
And I'm okay with that.

007bistromath · « **Reply #8 on:** July 12, 2010, 01:56:24 PM »

It's true that, if we are part of society, we are always available to it. The problem is one of degree, and the fact that there's no real way to control which information is disseminated, or find out which information is dangerous. Generally speaking, peolpe don't understand how much can be learned about them from analyzing a person's social connections, nevermind what they actually say. This isn't just contact info. It's easy to find out what you like to buy, where you like to go, what you like to do, (even that!) what health problems you have, where you've worked, and whether you have any interests that indicate you might commit a crime. Any detective could always find this stuff out, but now it's effortless, as your information is already cross-referenced and waiting to be pulled, whether or not you actually put it there.

machiavelli33 · « **Reply #9 on:** July 12, 2010, 02:20:16 PM »

You know, thinking of it, I don't really care if people know that I'm near-sighted, missing an appendix and mildly allergic to cats (sad, love kitties).

And really, so what if people know what I like to buy? I'm bombarded with advertising every day that tries to get ahead of my brain in that regard -without- trying to find out about me. More of that is just another envelope on top of the "advertising noise" inbox. Heck, if it means I'll finally get shown some goddamned method of buying Vitamin Water bulk, then I am -for- it.
And heck, what's wrong with people knowing where I work? Its not like former employers would ever keep their lips tight about it. People can hear that I did a great job working as a motion graphics assistant last October, or they'll hear I was a shitty computer lab monitor my sophomore year college.

Then again, I am generally very okay with myself and the information that I would ostensibly have on record.

The Revolution · « **Reply #10 on:** July 13, 2010, 09:46:11 AM »

I don't do social networking. but I have pages forced upon me by friends. As all you need is an email address, I normally have a few angry people asking me why am I ignoring their invites when I'm not even paying attention. And sometimes the sites are so damn confusing, I don't even know how to close the page.

As to why I don't do social networking, take this play

Me: hey, what's up?

Random Person: did you read my facelinkedbookplace site?!!?

Me: Umm... no. what's up?

Random Person: DUDE! READ IT TO SEE HOW FUCKED UP MY LIFE IS!!

Me: ... we're right here. we're on the phone/face to face. Why can't you tell me now?

Random Person: There's so much I don't want to get into all of it!

Me: Good talking with you *goes do something else*

The fact that a website is where I have to get a good majority of information from my friends makes me wonder what happened to true communication, and when did sound bites take the place of intimacy and one on one emotional sharing.

007bistromath · « **Reply #11 on:** July 13, 2010, 11:22:29 AM »

Quote from: machiavelli33 on July 12, 2010, 02:20:16 PM

You know, thinking of it, I don't really care if people know that I'm near-sighted, missing an appendix and mildly allergic to cats (sad, love kitties).

And really, so what if people know what I like to buy? I'm bombarded with advertising every day that tries to get ahead of my brain in that regard -without- trying to find out about me. More of that is just another envelope on top of the "advertising noise" inbox. Heck, if it means I'll finally get shown some goddamned method of buying Vitamin Water bulk, then I am -for- it.
And heck, what's wrong with people knowing where I work? Its not like former employers would ever keep their lips tight about it. People can hear that I did a great job working as a motion graphics assistant last October, or they'll hear I was a shitty computer lab monitor my sophomore year college.

Then again, I am generally very okay with myself and the information that I would ostensibly have on record.

If you like being a transparent cog, more power to you. It certainly has benfits of its own. The fact remains, however, that what we're talking about here is not opt-in, it's a necessary consequence of participating in these things at all. Hell, facebook already knows who I am, and I've refused every invite I've got. If you have friends who use this and want to be pushy about it, your privacy is threatened. Whether that bothers you or not, for many people, privacy is the root of liberty, the only protection from the profound and pervasive chilling effect that is the stigma of one's peers, and these websites are destroying it faster than any stupid thing the government has ever done.

S*S · « **Reply #12 on:** July 13, 2010, 11:39:31 AM »

I just I don't really see the beef. We've been in the information age a while now. And for the past few hundred years, we've always had governments that are powerful enough to crush any single one of us like a bug without consequence, but I'm cool with that on the basis that I'm reasonably sure my government isn't going to, and that if they started doing it to too many people, then the electorate wouldn't stand for it. Our data has been everywhere for a while: sure, websites like Facebook make it more easily accessible and more convenient for a hypothetical malevovent force to collate, but if our goal is to live in a world where the government doesn't posess the power to quietly exert it's will over even ONE of it's citizens, we're already well past that.

We're still all part of a homogenous mass and we still have privacy in that our government generally doesn't care what we do in our privacy, and ultimately, we've created a system that represents the most prominant interests and desires of the homogenous mass, well enough that we're mostly all content. Things have defaulted to more or less how you'd expect things to work out. Even the most unhappy of us generally only want things run differently, and the ones who want to tear the whole system down have solid plan on what to replace it with.

I am not important enough for the government or a large company to ever want to ruin me. We do have privacy, but of another form: We're ALL out there, we're ALL individually exposed, but no one cares because it's hard to, say, single out the deviants without picking a fight with all of us.

Plus, Facebook is mainly sales data. I am sure my buying habits are part of many a random database of gender-age-location buying trends with no defining identifier attached. That's irritating, sure, but a threat to my civil liberties? Eh.

007bistromath · « **Reply #13 on:** July 14, 2010, 04:32:26 AM »

Congratulations, you are British. Here in America, most people would actually still be pissed off if a traffic light ever yelled at them for picking their nose. The fact they are too dumb to realize they are in fact in a worse situation in many ways is also part of the American way. Separated by common language, etc.

Pixie · « **Reply #14 on:** July 14, 2010, 04:45:20 AM »

What information do I have on Facebook that I didn't write down when I applied for, say, college or a social security number?

I left blank the fields for phone number, interests and so on because I don't want everyone seeing those, but even if I had filled out every field to the max, I really don't think the government would learn anything new.

007bistromath · « **Reply #15 on:** July 14, 2010, 04:50:22 AM »

Everyone you know, everyone they know, and most likely pictures of all of those people, even if you weren't the one that posted one of yourself, in addition to everything you've ever talked about on there. Trivialities in aggregate add up to a lot of unintentionally filled blanks when modern investigative techniques are applied.

etphonehome · « **Reply #16 on:** July 14, 2010, 07:12:04 AM »

Knowledge is power. When you give up information about yourself, you give the person who has it a certain amount of power over you. However, there's quite often a benefit to it as well. For example, I put my phone number on Facebook exactly because I want my friends to be able to find my phone number. It's on "friends only" mode so that only my friends and anyone with full access to the Facebook database can see it. Do I like the fact that someone at Facebook could theoretically look at my phone number without my knowledge? Not exactly, but the fact that my friends can see my phone number and a random person Googling my name can't is worth the trade-off for me.

Pixie · « **Reply #17 on:** July 14, 2010, 07:19:48 AM »

Trade-off is right. Any time you put information out there, whether it's to connect with friends on FB, to get a driver's license or anything else you might do, you're opening yourself up to allllll of those scary things that someone might, potentially, one day do with that information. The alternative, though, is to live a completely closed off life, never giving out any information at all because of the potential pitfalls.

The trick is to draw your own personal line. Decide where YOU think that the benefits outweigh the risks and vice versa. Wherever you fall on that line is fine, so long as you're not hurting anyone else. But I think it's a bit nasty when people start casting derision on OTHER people's personal line- like insinuating that they're too stupid to care about their personal data or that they're paranoid, when really they just analyze the risk-benefit thing in a different way.

Lorelei · « **Reply #18 on:** July 14, 2010, 07:28:04 AM »

I monitor how much information I share as closely as I can. It's not that I mind sharing some things...I just like to have an idea what's out there and visible to who. Do I wish Facebook made it a little easier to control that? Definitely.
And I going to quit using the site because I have to be a little more careful? No.

I don't see the advantage to being completely invisible online. I make a good number of my connections for work and the charity functions I run through online communication. If the right people can't find me, I go no where. I'm a believer that getting somewhere in life depends a lot on who you know. I make it a point to network with as many people as possible, because you never know which one may have the lead you need to get a job done.

stargazer2 · « **Reply #19 on:** July 14, 2010, 02:57:47 PM »

I'm also in the "trade-off" camp. That's a place for stuff I intend to share widely. Here, I keep stuff I don't want to share as widely, but still wouldn't embarrass me too deeply if it were read aloud before my entire assembled family. But I'm well aware if anybody wanted to badly enough, they could link most or all of what I've said and done on the internet, they'd know a fair bit about me, despite my conservative approach to sharing.

Frankly, if the government is curious about my friends, family, purchases, income, tax status, education, choices in reading material, travels, and so on, they can pretty much find it out. Like with any other information source, a dizzying amount of resources would have to be put to the task, so I don't worry too much that they're devoting too much time to me. I'm actually far more concerned about markerter's laughable efforts to pigeonhole me, based on the data they have, and try to sell me stuff - usually stuff I JUST bought, because of how their algorithm works (hey! she bought a sun-shade! Maybe she needs another one!!!! Let's throw that ad onto every page she sees from now until Kingdom Come!) I don't welcome their intrusion, and my privacy settings reflect that. If the government wants to see it though - subject to lawful access restrictions (which I do feel should be much stricter than they are as of right now), that's cool. If I'd really wanted to hide it, I sure as hell wouldn't post it online.

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Author Topic: The dark side of social networking. (Read 2059 times)