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Author Topic: Twisted Wishes  (Read 24724 times)

Offline toranoraneko

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Twisted Wishes
« on: April 19, 2006, 11:56:58 PM »


        Y'all know how to do this 'un. Grant a wish, make a wish. Natch.

        I really wish I could fall asleep.
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Offline Connor Goodman

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2006, 01:38:13 AM »
Granted. Too bad you can't wake up. EVER.

I really wish I could think of something to wish for...
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Offline SteelAngelJohn

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2006, 10:06:56 AM »
You think of something - too late. The chance for wishing has passed.

I wish I controlled an army of ninja.
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Offline Sparky

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2006, 10:12:59 AM »
Granted, but the army decides to go union and then the union decides to strike for better pay and benifits.

I wish Someone would do my work for me.
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Offline julia

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2006, 12:57:51 PM »
The someone does do work for you, but does it so sloppily you get laid off.


I wish I didn't have to face consequences for not going to class.
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Offline LoneCoon

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2006, 02:20:45 PM »
Granted. Your school has burned down, therefore there's no problem with not going to class.

I wish fora big bag of doritos
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Offline TGU

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2006, 02:21:51 PM »
Granted.  But it's been sitting, open, for a year.  Mmm, stale Doritos!

I wish the guy ten feet to my right was in love with me.
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Offline SteelAngelJohn

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2006, 02:52:09 PM »
He is. He's so in love with you that he wants to carve your skin off and hang it on his wall to worship you for eternity.

I wish the new Tool album was in my hands.
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"There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part, you can't even passively take part, and you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop! And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!" - Mario Savio

Offline Zahnnie

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2006, 03:00:06 PM »
It is!  It's embedded just below your skin- and that was the ONLY copy.  And there's an army of angry fans on your doorstep...

I wish I could teleport home.
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Offline phobos

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2006, 05:22:57 AM »
Granted. You can teleport home. Home is where you hang your hat.

* hands over a Hat of Recall *

Hang this somewhere, and you'll immediately teleport to that location. Useful!

I wish for a fully-functional TARDIS of my very own.
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Offline SteelAngelJohn

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #10 on: April 24, 2006, 07:49:11 PM »
You get it. You also get Rose Tyler! PWND

I wish I wish I didn't eat that fish.
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"There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part, you can't even passively take part, and you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop! And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!" - Mario Savio

Offline Altara

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2006, 07:56:19 PM »
Granted, you ate another fish caught 2 years ago and never refrigerated, and it's raw.

I wish there was no such thing as a comma.
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Offline Symmetry

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #12 on: April 25, 2006, 10:54:55 AM »
Now there isn't anymore, along with the rest of the whole Roman Alphabet and writing sytsem and its near cousins.  Good luck learning Japanese.

I wish for world peace.
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Offline SteelAngelJohn

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2006, 02:13:36 PM »
You succeed. Everyone melts all their weapons down and takes to farming. Then aliens invade and we're fucked ALL THANKS TO YOU!!!!!

I wish the next two movies in the Night Watch trilogy were out.
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"There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part, you can't even passively take part, and you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop! And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!" - Mario Savio

Offline phobos

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #14 on: April 25, 2006, 02:19:17 PM »
They are. You go see them with high expectations.

But come out thinking that maybe George Lucas should be forgiven, because Jar Jar Binks doesn't seem all that bad now...

I wish for a pint of tasty beer.
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Offline machiavelli33

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2006, 03:08:38 PM »
That beer IS tasty.  You drink all down.
Five minutes later, Old Man Murphy comes out and confesses to you that he jizzed in your beer.

I wish this freaking project was done.
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Offline SteelAngelJohn

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #16 on: April 25, 2006, 03:26:05 PM »
The project gets finished. ...five minutes later, Old Man Murphy comes out and confesses to you that he jizzed on it.

I wish TV was good.
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"There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part, you can't even passively take part, and you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop! And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!" - Mario Savio

Offline K

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #17 on: April 25, 2006, 04:47:59 PM »
TV is suddenly good.

Five minutes later, though, the only thing on is looping shots of Old Man Murphy jizzing.

I wish "Top Gun 2: Brokeback Squadron" would come out.
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Offline Fever

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #18 on: April 25, 2006, 11:34:27 PM »
Granted. You don't remember playing the lead, but there you are in all your glory. Also you apparently weren't paid for your porn debut.

I wish for a reuben sandwich AND a cure for cancer, or at least the sandwich because they're good.
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Offline SteelAngelJohn

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Re: Twisted Wishes
« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2006, 07:10:55 AM »
You get both at the same time. Unfortunately for you, the cure is lethal if you don't have cancer. Enjoy your sandwich while you can, because it is laced with YOUR DOOM!

I wish I had a brain.
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"There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part, you can't even passively take part, and you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop! And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!" - Mario Savio
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