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» Games » Twisted Wishes
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toolazytoworktoobusynotto Reply #360 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 01, 2008, 08:51:22 AM
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Granted. It ain't heartburn. They fit your stent a week tuesday. By then you will suffer a massive, painful heart attack while having a particularly large bowel movement and die up on your bathroom floor with your trousers round your ankles.

I wish I could cheer the fuck up.
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“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” - Albert Einstein

"I with uncovered head, Salute the sacred dead, Who went, and who return not" -James Russell Lowell
Aeryven Reply #361 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 01, 2008, 10:54:19 AM
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Granted. You find the fuck and cheer him up. You, on the other hand, are still miserable.

I wish I had a big wheel of cheese.
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-- Iuvante Bardus Ignarus --
Club Nowhere Chat! - Now online and awaiting chatters!
Will's OfficeCam! - Soon, you will be able to watch me work! Huzzah!
Klaus von Phisstybuns Reply #362 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 02, 2008, 11:26:38 AM
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In League With You Know Who
Granted.

Then it disappears.  You had a big wheel of cheese.

I wish I had a big fat joint to smoke with my crazy katimapeeps.
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Jeans for 400 dollars?!?  To which I replied, "will they at least pleasure me sexually?"
ACapellaLegend Reply #363 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 02, 2008, 11:29:30 AM
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I sing tenor. I has no balls.
POOF!

you now have a big fat joint to smoke with your crazy katimapeeps...

but, its only oregano.

I wish I had the knowledge to do my job better...
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Remember...Get Tight With Christ!
Aeryven Reply #364 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 02, 2008, 12:04:30 PM
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POOF!

you now  have the knowledge to do your job better,,,

but it's only oregano.

I wish to not be sick anymore.
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-- Iuvante Bardus Ignarus --
Club Nowhere Chat! - Now online and awaiting chatters!
Will's OfficeCam! - Soon, you will be able to watch me work! Huzzah!
ACapellaLegend Reply #365 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 02, 2008, 12:24:09 PM
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I sing tenor. I has no balls.
Poof!!!

now, you are not sick. Your dead.

I wish that I wished for my wish to come true.
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Remember...Get Tight With Christ!
glasswalker Reply #366 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 03, 2008, 10:22:24 PM
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You know what that song's really about, right?
Boom!  Wish granted - or is it?  There's no way to tell....

I wish my roomie could find work. (Seriously.  To quote the Simply Red song, money's too tight to mention....)
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"I've been letting the weather and my stomach muscles and a great chord change in a Pretenders single make up my mind for me, and I want to do it for myself."
 - Nick Hornby, High Fidelity

Dum spero spiro.

In omnibus requiem quaesivi, et nusquam inveni nisi in angulo cum libro.
Narcissa Reply #367 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 03, 2008, 10:45:18 PM
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Banana hammock.
Granted. Roomie cleans septic tanks. And you find out that s/he is the kind of person who likes to bring work home with them.

I wish I had a cell phone.
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"No way!  Bacon Hanukkah would be the most awesome Hanukkah ever!" - Malk

"WE'RE ALL BLACK HERE." - Badger
The P.u.P.P Reply #368 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 03, 2008, 11:22:36 PM
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There are kangaroos in the world
Granted. Oh noes! radiation. Now your head asplode.

I wish the moon was a man named Fred.
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"Are you crazy, are you dumb, are you made of apple crumbs?"
8833_mr._gm.png
Aeryven Reply #369 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 04, 2008, 04:41:08 AM
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GRANTED.

You are now suddenly grossed out after realizing you've been staring at Fred's "moon" all these years.

I wish I had a personal assistant to clean my home and run all my errands.
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-- Iuvante Bardus Ignarus --
Club Nowhere Chat! - Now online and awaiting chatters!
Will's OfficeCam! - Soon, you will be able to watch me work! Huzzah!
Klaus von Phisstybuns Reply #370 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 04, 2008, 12:29:21 PM
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In League With You Know Who
Granted.

But it's your ex-wife . . and look!  She's brought friends to help her!

I wish I could have some proccess all this work for me, and give me great sexxings.  Someone that I find attractive.  Yum.
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Jeans for 400 dollars?!?  To which I replied, "will they at least pleasure me sexually?"
ACapellaLegend Reply #371 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 04, 2008, 02:25:56 PM
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I sing tenor. I has no balls.
Granted...


but its only oregano.


I wish I could get a job out of my internship.
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Remember...Get Tight With Christ!
glasswalker Reply #372 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 05, 2008, 11:47:19 PM
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You know what that song's really about, right?
Granted!  You get a job out of your internship.... and this job takes you right out of your internship and into a polyester uniform with name tag. 

That's "Do you want fries with that, sir."

I wish Grace Park was waiting for me in my bed, dressed like a cheerleader.
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"I've been letting the weather and my stomach muscles and a great chord change in a Pretenders single make up my mind for me, and I want to do it for myself."
 - Nick Hornby, High Fidelity

Dum spero spiro.

In omnibus requiem quaesivi, et nusquam inveni nisi in angulo cum libro.
The P.u.P.P Reply #373 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 06, 2008, 12:33:23 AM
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There are kangaroos in the world
Granted. OHNOES SHE'S PROGRAMMED TO KILL YOU WITHOUT ANY SEXXINGS WHAT-SO-EVER.

Damn Toasters.

Oh! I wish for a nice, perfectly cooked piece of toast.
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"Are you crazy, are you dumb, are you made of apple crumbs?"
8833_mr._gm.png
Narcissa Reply #374 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 06, 2008, 01:20:23 AM
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Banana hammock.
Granted, but it has asparagus paste all over it.

I wish turtles really could fly.
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"No way!  Bacon Hanukkah would be the most awesome Hanukkah ever!" - Malk

"WE'RE ALL BLACK HERE." - Badger
glasswalker Reply #375 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 06, 2008, 10:19:00 AM
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You know what that song's really about, right?
Bang!  Turtles are flying all around you.... and they look like they're gonna do the pigeon dive-bombing thing.

Sorry, that ain't rain you just felt on your head.

I wish I had central air.
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"I've been letting the weather and my stomach muscles and a great chord change in a Pretenders single make up my mind for me, and I want to do it for myself."
 - Nick Hornby, High Fidelity

Dum spero spiro.

In omnibus requiem quaesivi, et nusquam inveni nisi in angulo cum libro.
Narcissa Reply #376 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 06, 2008, 10:28:32 AM
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Banana hammock.
And bam. Central air. Unluckily for you, it's Central American air. It's extra hot and balmy everywhere you go now, and everything has a faint smell of cocaine.

I wish I could sleep in instead of working today, still get paid, still be alive and well, and snuggle my puppy.
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"No way!  Bacon Hanukkah would be the most awesome Hanukkah ever!" - Malk

"WE'RE ALL BLACK HERE." - Badger
Aeryven Reply #377 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 06, 2008, 11:10:44 AM
Mad William Bonney
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GRANTED!

You get to sleep in today, still get paid, still be alive and well, and snuggle your puppy... unfortunately, your bed is infested with bugs, you got paid in the form of old dirty gym socks, and YOU may be alive and well, but nail, knob, or knocker...your puppy is dead. Plus, you're fired.

I wish I didn't have the shits after the potluck at work last night.
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-- Iuvante Bardus Ignarus --
Club Nowhere Chat! - Now online and awaiting chatters!
Will's OfficeCam! - Soon, you will be able to watch me work! Huzzah!
ACapellaLegend Reply #378 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 06, 2008, 11:44:14 AM
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I sing tenor. I has no balls.
Granted!!!!


you now dont have just the shits...you got stuff comin from every single orifice you have and some that you didnt know you had. what was in that potato salad??????


I wish I could go home...
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Remember...Get Tight With Christ!
glasswalker Reply #379 in Twisted Wishes — Posted July 06, 2008, 09:26:32 PM
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You know what that song's really about, right?
Granted, you can go home again.  But it's not your home, it's the Lars homestead from Episode IV, complete with burnt-out corpses....

I wish I had a working stargate in my closet.
Logged
"I've been letting the weather and my stomach muscles and a great chord change in a Pretenders single make up my mind for me, and I want to do it for myself."
 - Nick Hornby, High Fidelity

Dum spero spiro.

In omnibus requiem quaesivi, et nusquam inveni nisi in angulo cum libro.
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