Author Topic: Twisted Wishes (Read 24724 times)

LoneCoon · « **Reply #40 on:** May 26, 2006, 11:58:11 PM »

Granted. It's August. 3073

I wish I could tell the world just one thing.

PoipleAsh · « **Reply #41 on:** May 27, 2006, 12:00:18 AM »

Granted and they get it horribly disgustingly wrong and now you're naked, chained and being flayed.

Congraulations.

I wish I had yummy food to eat.

SteelAngelJohn · « **Reply #42 on:** May 28, 2006, 10:46:55 AM »

Your wish is granted. You get hit by a car and wake up in August. Unfortunately, the entire world has become infected by some weird kind of disease that they call Rage...

I wish this drama queen would leave me alone.

Arachne · « **Reply #43 on:** June 12, 2006, 02:04:17 PM »

Lil Poiple Ash- Congratulations, your wish is granted; you dine on the best food you've tasted in your entire life! Why, everything is absolutely delicious, and... and what's that you just heard? Oh shit... SOYLENT GREEN IS PEEEOOOOPPLLLEEE!!!! OH THE HUMANITY!

...then you get food poisoning and die.

SteelAngelJohn- Woohoo! The drama queen leaves you alone! Unfortunately, she leaves you alone... in an iron coffin filled with snakes, brown recluse spiders, and- oddly enough- a bunny rabbit. Note that this is at the bottom of a lake of hydrochloric acid. Have fun!

I wish that I was SPARTACUS!

phobos · « **Reply #44 on:** June 12, 2006, 02:11:00 PM »

Granted. It's the end of the film. Here comes a big Roman bloke with a hammer and nails and an unfriendly look in his eye...

I wish for England to win the World Cup.

marpa · « **Reply #45 on:** June 18, 2006, 07:30:07 PM »

Granted - England has won the World Cup of Dodgeball. Unfortunately, the team couldn't be two places at once and forfeited the FIFA World Cup.

I wish I was creative enough to come up with better wish granting than this.

The Revolution · « **Reply #46 on:** June 18, 2006, 07:34:55 PM »

You are! But sadly, your wish of creativeness lead to an overflow of ideas. Without the ability to censor them all, you are eventually driven mad, smeared yourself with honey and dung, and ran out to the final of the World Cup, and invented the "SUCK IT SIDEWAYS THROUGH A TUBE" dance before fading into US Politics.

I wish that my uber Jedi Powuz could make me strong enough to save the worlds!

Scix · « **Reply #47 on:** July 06, 2006, 05:33:18 PM »

Granted! Strong enough -- but way, way too lazy.

I wish I had a harem of my own.

LoneCoon · « **Reply #48 on:** July 06, 2006, 05:38:13 PM »

Granted. Harem full of sheep. remeber that "baa" means "No."

I wish for a wallet that always pulls out exact change for anything.

phobos · « **Reply #49 on:** July 07, 2006, 03:52:29 AM »

Granted, but you need to have a second wallet for it to pull the change from. It's still a neat party trick, though.

I wish for a pet Dalek that would always do my bidding.

Crystal · « **Reply #50 on:** July 07, 2006, 04:07:04 AM »

Granted. unfortunately, the Dalek does all your bidding. So when you say things like "God, the sun is too bright today, I wish it would go away," the Dalek obeys. Congratulations, you have destroyed humanity. And all other life on Earth.

I wish I could stop thinking about him.

phobos · « **Reply #51 on:** August 14, 2006, 12:14:37 PM »

Granted. In fact, everyone stopped thinking about him, and the thread fell into abeyance for over a month.

I wish to unlock my true potential.

LoneCoon · « **Reply #52 on:** August 14, 2006, 01:40:14 PM »

Granted. Turns out you had pretty low potential in the first place. Ain't that a bitch to learn?

I wish I could see into the past.

NoxEquites · « **Reply #53 on:** August 14, 2006, 02:07:56 PM »

Granted. The experience turns you into a raving psychotic as you look too far back and see the creation of everything.

I wish I was able to fly.

qeantk · « **Reply #54 on:** August 14, 2006, 02:10:47 PM »

Granted. But the USAF takes you down as a terrorism threat.

I wish I had the power to wish my way around the twists from the monkey's paw.

phobos · « **Reply #55 on:** September 12, 2006, 01:55:13 PM »

Granted. You have the power: all you need do is make the right wish and it will be granted. But, just like the rest of us, you lack the skill to formulate it correctly...

I wish for what I already have.

Jemini · « **Reply #56 on:** September 12, 2006, 09:43:43 PM »

Granted. But because the wish was for something you already have, the wish Genie kicks you in the nuts for making him come out of his lamp for nothing.

I wish I had a unicorn.

phobos · « **Reply #57 on:** September 15, 2006, 12:08:21 PM »

Granted. You had a unicorn for oh such a brief period last month. For three days you and the unicorn frolicked joyfully without a care in the world. Then it was hit by a bus. You will never quite get over the terrible sense of loss.

I wish for a magic penny-purse, such that no matter how many pennies are taken from it, more always remain, even though it is no larger or heavier than any ordinary purse.

Rzep · « **Reply #58 on:** September 16, 2006, 02:06:32 PM »

Granted. With this newfound wealth you go buy yourself a new computer - when you get to the checkout, you ready your magical purse. The process of counting out $2000 worth of pennies makes the cashier snap, and they staple your hand to the counter. Now you're forced to work the cash register for the rest of your days!

I wish for a fine case of authentic German beer (already chilled, too!)...none of that Becks, made in Canada crap.

Gudy · « **Reply #59 on:** September 17, 2006, 05:38:38 AM »

There you are. A nice case of German beer, chilled to perfect drinking temperature. Oh, I thoughtfully opened all the bottles for you about two weeks ago so the poor, bottled-up beer could air out a little.

I wish for the ability to Apparate, Harry Potter style, without splinching myself.

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Author Topic: Twisted Wishes (Read 24724 times)