OMG the last one is hilarious.

Yeah, the guy who posted it to RPGnet is the same guy who put it in there.

We had kind of a funny moment earlier tonight in a game I'm running. The PCs have happened on a carriage that is under attack by gnolls (it's a pass, the gnolls blocked it off with a tree, classic ambush), and ride up to the rescue. Near the end of the fight, when the leader of the carriage's bodyguards is nearly dead, and only the large savage leader of the gnolls remains standing on the enemy side, the party's rogue sneaks up behind the gnoll leader and hits him with an arrow. The gnoll is in combat with a mook human guard, the human guard leader, and the other PC, so he's pretty flat-footed and the rogue is flanking. The rogue hits him with an arrow. Point Blank Shot, and Precise Shot, and it's a masterwork +2 compound bow. He is very disappointed because he almost crits but doesn't. He rolls his 3d6 sneak attack damage, and the damage of the shot itself. Three 6's and a 4. On top of +1 from point blank shot and +2 from the compound bow. The gnoll leader had only had 3 hit points left, and he took 23 points of damage. I said the arrow had not just hit a vital spot, it had severed the spine and the force of the shot had pinned the gnoll to the cliff face. The ranger asked the rogue how he had been able to make a shot like that.

"It's my Cruise Missile Arrow. Like from Robin Hood."

I'm curious how you raise someone in repentance, is that raising them as a Catholic? 

Ah... perhaps they meant razed in repentance.

I have a funny story from the game I ran Saturday night, it's in my Untamed Earth setting, where the overwhelming majority of the dragons left the known world for the lands across the ocean, during the time of the Dragon King Arek'Sanzer.

The party has gone into the Giant Forest of Spiders, which is across a river from civilized lands, tracking a group of goblins that have been raiding local farms. After they get a couple miles in, with dusk coming on, they are attacked by a huge monstrous spider. They kill it handily (impressively so, considering it was the same CR as the party), and decide to make camp there for the night. The rogue tries to remove the spider's poison glands, but screws it up and spill the venom onto the ground, where it bubbles and hisses and kills the plant life there. They set up snares around the camp and, with two staying awake to keep watch, go to sleep for the night.

After about an hour, the two keeping watch hear one of the snares get tripped. They look, and it's an old man in hermit's robes, hanging unceremoniously upside down, asking to get cut down. They ask him what he's doing, and he says he was going to see if he could get some of the poison from the spider. They ask him why, and he says he's going to eat it. The dwarf tries to intimidate him to see if he's bullshitting them. The rogue senses motive to see if he's telling the truth.

He is telling the absolute god's honest truth, he wants to eat the spider venom. He's saddened that it spilled onto the ground and was wasted. And he's really not intimidated by the dwarf.

So they ask him what he's doing in the forest by himself. He says he's there for the delicious spiders and their tangy venom. They cheeck again to see if he's lying. He isn't. The rest of the party has woken up at this point and joined in the bewildered questioning. They're convinced he's absolutely nuts. He asks for some of the spider's meat, and once given permission, tears off some spider and starts eating it.

They ask him if he's seen or heard a group of goblins. He says yes, he has. They ask him where he saw them at. He says they were about a mile south of the party, further down the trail. The party starts picking up weapons and preparing to head out, and they ask him what the goblins were doing. He says they were being eaten by spiders. They stop getting ready. He tells them there was a large colony of spiders there, and the spiders ate the goblins. Somebody picks up on his use of the past tense, and asks why he said "was". He says that he ate them. Ate a large colony of spiders? Yes, he says. They check again if he's lying. He isn't. The dwarf fighter tries to intimidate him. Gets a 25. He still isn't intimidated. They ask him how he managed to kill all those spiders. He says he spit acid at them and they died, then he ate them. The party is convinced... that he is entirely delusional. He asks if he can stay by the fire for the night, and they agree. Everybody except for the watchers go back to sleep, figuring they'll pick up the trail of the goblins in the morning.

...

Course, what they don't know is that he is one of the very very few dragons left in Europe, a Very Old copper dragon. Copper dragons, one of the good metallic dragons, love to eat venomous monstrous insects like spiders and scorpions, saying that the poison sharpens their wit. Their breath weapon is acid. And they have an incorrigible sense of humor, with a love of pranks, jokes, and riddles. He was polymorphed into human form, and he knew the snare trap was there. And he was laughing his ass off the whole time, although they attributed the laughter to insanity.

it was good RP, everybody was laughing their own asses off, and it was widely agreed that I played an excellent copper dragon, especially considering I'd never done a copper dragon before.

Last night with my D&D group.

So we have a party of five: a monk (me), a wizard, a druid (Wilson), a rogue (Wilson's roommate, Chris) and a fighter.  While poking around the dungeon, we find an old tomb which has been quite thoroughly looted.  It is also under an anti-magic field, which makes our wizard and druid a) nervous, and b) mostly useless.  While seraching the sarcophogus, though, the druid, Gregory, finds a broken staff.  One Lore check later, we learn that it's a Staff of the Magi, and that such things explode when they are broken.  Because of the anti-magic field, though, it hasn't exploded.  We all decide it would be a really good idea to leave it there.

Cue the asshat rogue.

The rogue, Vuhryk, decides it would be "funny" to slip the broken staff into Gregory's back pocket.  He rolls for Slight of Hand, makes it, and puts it in Gregory's pocket.  DM has Gregory roll a Spot check, which he doesn't make.  We all leave the room, and the DM starts rolling.

Boom.

Turns out we were lucky; the way the DM rolled, the staff only had 8 charges left, rather than 40.  If it had been 40, we all would have been vaporized.

DM: The staff explodes.  All of you take 58 damage.
Vuhryk: I'm immune to magical damage.
Me: Crap.  Ahea falls to the ground dead.
Gregory: I cast Revivify on Ahea.

Gregory heals everyone up, and Ahea punches Vuhryk in the face for 26 damage, which Gregory refuses to heal.

Chris giggles about all this for the rest of the evening.  SUCH an ass.

No, no, no.

Kill and raise dead until he's 1st-level with 1 or 2 CON.

Then give him the ol' Johnathan Stokes.

An end before his time is more than he deserves, neh?