I posted this in the venting thread, but no replies, which I was kind of hoping for.

Seeing as I had another very vivid dream about her back on 2/9 or 2/10 or so, it's obvious (to me) that I can't get her out of my mind. Anyway, on with the original post:
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Every weekday, last spring, I'd go into a particular office. And almost every time I went in this, this girl was in there. She was awesome. I had "that feeling", ya know? We talked, and I learned her name, the street where she had an apartment, and a few other things. We chatted on Facebook a couple times, and I felt like things were clicking. I don't know what she felt, but she never told me I was getting too close, never told me to back off, etc.

She was away for the summer of 2011, but said she'd be back in the fall of 2011. I basically told her to have a good summer, and I'd see her in the fall.

Fast-forward to the fall of 2011, and she wasn't at the office. People said she got super-busy with her final year of school and had to step down from her duties at the office. I had an "aw shucks" feeling, but at least her primary co-worker was still there...for a couple weeks, until she left for the same reason of school getting too hectic.

Anyway, I still can't get her out of my mind. As in I had a dream about her on Saturday night (day before the AFC/NFC championship games) and am still thinking about her.

(Sometimes, my dreams are super-realistic, like I'm actually living in them. Sometimes, I"ll still be in a "haze" of sorts for a while after the dream ends, depending on the dream itself. Sometimes, this "haze" may last for a while. Other times, it's worn off that afternoon.)

Because I know her name, I was able to look her up in the school's database. I sent her a email, but she didn't respond. Like I said, she could be busy. Because I know her name, I was able to look up the names of some of her friends through the various social networking sites.

Should I just let it go? Should I attempt to contact her...without seeming like a stalker? At the very least, it'd be nice to give her a proper goodbye and good luck. I think the third option is talking to a pro (shrink) about it.

Thanks for the advice. I knew that the logo at the top about "last hope for intelligent discussion" was the truth. I guess I'm just not good at dealing with fate, especially when such things are entirely out of my control. I have been in similar situations before, and they're never easy. I guess there's always hope that our paths shall cross again, as paths sometimes do.

Looking back on it, hindsight being 20/20, it never hurts to ask someone for a phone number. The worst they can do is say no. I can't kick myself over it though.

Let it go. I totally know how you feel with wanting to contact the person again, but you also wonder if she even read the email or not or even still has access.

I know she has access. It's the college email system that all students have access to, even after they graduate. However, I'm sure most students don't use it, except for college-related purposes like scheduling classes, paying fees, and whatnot.

The only situations where someone would not have access are if they transfer or fail out, in which cases, the email address is valid for a short time, before being removed.

I hooked my university email address into my gmail, so I'll see anything sent to my university account and be able to send from that account, just by logging in to Gmail. However, I'm sure I'm in the minority here. I'm sure most people don't do that. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's my feeling.

Just move forward. And yes, ask the next girl for her phone number.

Moving forward = easier said than done, as I'm sure we all know. This may be a bit hard to relay through the internet, but I'll try:

Thinking about her and the brief time we shared together makes me feel a bittersweet warmth. It's the same feeling I get when I say goodbye to a family member after a week or so together and they just left. I know I'll see them again, but I'm not sure when. I know I'll have to give up and look forward, but deep down inside, I don't want to.

Asking for a number = Indeed. Absolutely indeed. Person-to-person contact won't be around forever.


The weird thing is that this situation has happened so many times before. I'd be friends with someone at elementary school, camp, wherever.... at the end of the year/summer/whatever, we say goodbye and then it's a "I hope to see you next year" or something like that. Sometimes they'd be back the next time, other times, not.

The weird thing with having school friends transfer to another school? Despite the fact that I'd have their phone numbers from the previous year's student directory, I don't think I ever called them.

This time? It's about nine months later and I'm still not entirely over the hump.


And I'm still not sure what those two random dreams mean, or if they mean anything at all. Hell, I still remember the first one...then again, I have a penchant for remembering wacky, random things. I can remember events when I was a little kid, when other people have long since forgotten them.

I'd like to think we have different levels of thought. Some we can control, and others we can't. Dreams are what we can't control. They just happen, but it's all stuff that is on our mind.


I think part of it was that I was trying to keep it as a professional environment. I actually had to sign something saying to "keep it professional around other people in the program", etc. She was just a general employee, helping with things like copying papers and typing documents. I'm not sure if I *could* have asked for a number, but at least I played it safe. But damn... Yeah, of course I wanted to know her on a personal level.

The weird thing is that I've had several different jobs or whatever. I'm usually one to look forward and not look back. I usually do look forward. I'm an optimist.

You walked into the office and chatted to her several times.

I think you may be reading more into your interactions than there was.

Indeed. I tend to over-react to a lot of stuff. Just a simple request to visit the boss' office at work makes me over-think that I'm being written up, fired, whatever. I'll start thinking real fast about my actions, etc. Instead, it's something entirely different. (And, FWIW, everyone at work says I'm doing what I need to be doing, and AFAIK, no one has any concerns about me.)

Keep in mind that I had every reason TO be in the office, as I was told to return a laptop, go in and sign papers, or whatever I needed to do. It's not like I was going out of my way to go in and chat her up.  (Just wanted to clear up any possible confusion.)

I'm giving you tough love here, man. Forget her. Move on. You are already skirting the edge of stalker territory with this sort of thinking.

Yeah. Moving on. I'll probably never see her again, and hey...some people say the next one is hotter than the last.