Francis Dunnery - Too Much Saturn

This is a song about severe emotional problems...

I always believed that if I ran off to India
Wore sandals and shaved my head
And used Body shop conditioner, and incense like crazy
I could call myself a spirit head
But I only went to India to look on top
I wore sandals cause I’d smoked all my money
And I shaved off all my hair cause I had the fleas
I’d been sleeping all over
And the Body shop conditioner was a present from a friend
And the incense used to hide the smell
Of the drug den that I lay in

And so I ask myself what my motives are
For this lying need to look so free
And if I tell myself real honestly
What more can I admit to, open up a door
He said I’m gonna find out what I’m here for
He said I’d find out soon
I got too much Saturn and not enough Moon

I always believed that if I never missed a Yoga class
Read my horoscope in the dailies
And recycle bottles, and know a Red Indian
I could call myself a spirit man
But I was only doing Yoga cause I fancied the teacher
And stars cause it looked good on paper
And I only went to church cause my granny gave me money
When confession was over
And I only knew the Indian cause his brother’s a dealer
And bottles had a price on their return
So I could go and play, Oh my my

And so I ask myself what my motives are
For this lying need to look so free
And if I tell myself real honestly
What more can I admit to, open up a door
He said I’m gonna find out what I’m here for
He said I’d find out soon
I got too much Saturn and not enough Moon

So now that you know why I don’t love you
And now that you see that I’m so scared
Am I a good man ?
Am I a deep deep man ?

What more can I admit to, open up a door
He said I’m gonna find out what I’m here for
He said I’d find out soon
I got too much Saturn
How can I admit it, open up a door
He said I’m gonna find out what I’m here for
He said I’d find out soon
I got too much Saturn and not enough Moon

Skullcrusher Mountain
by Jonathan Coulton

Welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain
I hope that you’ve enjoyed your stay so far
I see you’ve met my assistant Scarface
His appearance is quite disturbing
But I assure you he’s harmless enough
He’s a sweetheart, calls me master
And he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing them to me

I’m so into you
But I’m way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You’d see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn’t kill you yet

I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don’t like it
What’s with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don’t like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

I’m so into you
But I’m way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You’d see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn’t kill you yet

Picture the two of us alone inside my golden submarine
While up above the waves my doomsday squad ignites the atmosphere
And all the fools who live their foolish lives may find it quite explosive
But it won’t mean half as much to me if I don’t have you here

You know it isn’t easy living here on Skullcrusher Mountain
Maybe you could cut me just a little slack
Would it kill you to be civil?
I’ve been patient, I’ve been gracious
And this mountain is covered with wolves
Hear them howling, my hungry children
Maybe you should stay and have another drink and think about me and you

I’m so into you
But I’m way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You’d see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn’t kill you yet
I shouldn’t kill you yet
I shouldn’t kill you yet

This song inspired my current Grog storyline-

Flogging Molly- Queen Anne's Revenge

You can't see the demons
Till the demons come calling for you
You're deaf to them screaming
Till they're standing right behind you
Blind to flames glowing
Till they're growing all around you
Numb to fangs gripping
Until they're ripping into you

You're miles from safe harbor
Run, run, run, run, run away
The fire has reached starboard

On the Queen Anne's Revenge
Skull and bones and a serpent's head
Are dancing with the madmen
On the Queen Anne's Revenge

Have a gargle with your demons and me

Walked the plank of SS Seasick
Survived to only continue the curse
Marooned on a small sandy island
With neither bird, beast nor herb
Drums started beating
None there but the sun and the flu
And the horns of the demon
No time to decide what to do

------

And THIS one inspired the next one (oh, Flogging Molly, you and your nautical songs  )-

Flogging Molly- Cruel Mistress

Next time out to sea
Bring enough soil to bury me
For I don't want my final jig
In the belly of a squid
Take my trousers take my shirt
Just give me that sweet dirt
For the water's cold and grim
And I never did learn to swim
No her love never set me free
So I set off for the ocean
Now in my dreams she comes to me
Whispering of peace
But I've known since the day
That we sailed for Santiago
Her dry embrace would kiss my face
No never, no more

The Sea is a Cruel Mistress
The Sea is a Cruel Mistress

Many moons to the day
That I threw her love away
Now every whale spouts,"go to hell"
As the wind laughs in my face
I've grown harder on the eyes
And salty on the taste
My pride has gone with the waves
As I wait a cold wet grave
I rose to the smell
Of a wet desert hell
And I thought to myself
How'd I wind up in this jail
Till a voice called to me
From deep within the sea
Dry your eyes my dear fisherman
Your ass belongs to me

The Sea is a Cruel Mistress
The Sea is a Cruel Mistress

The earth will rest my bones
Lord I know, Lord I know
But I'll see you when I get home
From the cold, yeah from the cold

No her love never set me free
So I set off for the ocean
Now in my dreams she comes to me
Whispering of peace
But I've known since the day
That we sailed for Santiago
Her dry embrace would kiss my face
No never, no more


------

Fucking awesome.

Mother earth is pregnant for the third time.
For y'all have knocked her up.
I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe....
...I was not offended.
For I knew I had to rise above it all.
Or drown in my own shit.

::nine minute guitar solo::

White and Nerdy by "Weird" Al Yankovich
(though you've you've all heard this song at least once, right?)

You see me mowin' my front lawn
I know they're all thinkin' I'm so
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Can't you see I'm white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

I wanna roll with the gangstas
But so far they all think I'm too
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
Really, really white and nerdy

First in my class here at MIT
Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D
M.C. Escher, that's my favorite M.C.
Keep you're 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin, to the contrary
You'll find that they're quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Stephen Hawking's in my library

My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin' for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I'm a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
Once you've see my sweet moves, you're gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze

There's no killer app I haven't run (run)
At Pascal, well I'm number one (one)
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun (what?)
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon

Here's the part I sing on...

You see me roll on my Segway
I know in my heart they think I'm
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Can't you see I'm white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

I'd like to roll with the gangstas
Although it's apparent I'm too
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
How'd I get so white and nerdy

I been browsin', inspectin' X-Men comics
You know I collect 'em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect them
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L

I got a business doing websites (websites)
When my friends need some code, who do they call?
I do HTML for 'em all
Even made a homepage for my dog, yo
I got myself a fanny pack
They were havin' a sale down at The Gap
Spend my nights with a role of bubble wrap
Pop, pop - hope no one sees me gettin' freaky

I'm nerdy in the extreme
Whiter than sour cream
I was in AV club and glee club
And even the chess team
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was "Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire

Got my name on my underwear They see me strollin', they're laughin'
And rollin' their eyes cause I'm so
White and nerdy

Just because I'm white and nerdy
Just because I'm white and nerdy
All because I'm white and nerdy
Holy cow, I'm white and nerdy

I wanna bowl with the gangstas
But oh well, it's obvious I'm
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

Well I don't show off, don't criticise
I'm just livin by my own feelings
And I won't give in, won't compromise
I just only have a steadfast heart of gold

I don't know why I can't leave though it might be tough
But I ain't outta control, just livin' by my word
Don't ask me why, I don't need a reason
I got my way, my own way

It doesn't matter now what happens
I will never give up the fight
There is no way I will run away
From all of my frights
As long as the voice inside me says go
I will always keep on running
There is no way to stop me from
Going to the very top
It doesn't matter
Who is wrong and who is right

Well I won't look back I don't need to
Time won't wait and I've got so much to do
Where do I stop it's all a blur and so unclear
Well I don't know but I can't be wrong

This fight is not for anybody
This is purely for myself
There is no way I'm gonna give up
'Til the very end
I can't tell what is wrong and what is right
I've got to find the answer
But I know that there is no way
I will ever give up
Place all your bets
On the one you think is right

It doesn't matter now what happens
I will never give up the fight
There is no way I will run away
From all of my frights
As long as the voice inside me says go
I will always keep on running
There is no way to stop me from
Going to the very top
It doesn't matter
Who is wrong and who is right

Ana Ng - They Might Be Giants
Make a hole with a gun perpendicular
to the name of this town in a desktop globe
exit wound in a foreign nation
showing the home of the one this was written for

My apartment looks upside down from there
water spirals the wrong way out the sink
and her voice is a backwards record
it's like a whirl pool and it never ends

CHORUS:
Ana Ng and I are getting old
and we still haven't walked in the glow
of each others' majestic presence
Listen, Ana, hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say
If there was a me for you

All alone at the '64 World's Fair
80 dolls yelling "Small girl after all"
Who was at the DuPont pavillion?
Why was the bench still warm?
Who had been there?

Or the time when the storm tangled up the wire
to the horn on the pole at the bus depot
And in back of the edge of hearing
These are the words that the voice was repeating

CHORUS

When I was driving once
I saw this painted on a bridge
"I don't want the world, I just want your half"

They don't need me here, and I know you're there
Where the world goes by like the humid air
and it sticks like a broken record
everything sticks like a broken record
everything sticks until it goes away
and the truth is we don't know anything

CHORUS repreated, gradually fades away

Blankets and Pie by Four Shadow.

(Spoken with a choir humming in the background, whistles start on the second verse.)

Theres a saying as old as the very hills of scotland themselves
that a scotsmens love of his country is surpassed only by his love of pie.
its no wonder then that the darkest deryist cloud over the history of scotland
was the great pie famine of 1635!


Aye, in those troubled times many were driven to madness
the only known cure for pie madness was to send the afflicted up
the rocky slopes of Mount McAngleshirewallkinded...burgshire
with nothing but kilt and cap between them and the cold cold winds.

Those that came down were forever cured of the madness
and once again loved pie in a calm and social acceptable manner
those fortunate souls remembered well the long nights and unforgiving ground
and never again cast there eye upon Mount Mcdougallburg...shire...angusburg

but some never came down at all, and even today...as the sun sets on Mount McConnell(mumbles)shire
as the cold night air settles in, you can still hear the tune they sang...

(sung)

1...2...1...2...3...4..........4...

oh my lodging is on the cold ground and I'm freezing
so, wont you please bring me some blankets and pie x2

Oh, Blankets and Pie x2

Oh, wont you please bring me some blankets and pie
oh my lodging is on the cold ground and I'm freezing
so, wont you please bring me some blankets and pie