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» Sex » Dirty Thoughts Thread
 — For things a little too raunchy to just be "random" 		Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 26
Narcissa    Topic opened June 20, 2007, 10:45:23 PM
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Banana hammock.
A bunch of silly putty would make a really good dildo.
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"No way!  Bacon Hanukkah would be the most awesome Hanukkah ever!" - Malk

"WE'RE ALL BLACK HERE." - Badger
The Ogre Reply #1 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 20, 2007, 10:53:33 PM
LOOKIT MUH COOTER
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Enjoy Og-R-Snax Brand Snack Foods*
My god, I'd fill this thread all by myself.

I've got the instincts of a 19yr old frat boy, the mind of a prurient and dissipated American novelist in his late 40s, and the social directive of a Victorian school marm.

Mine for the evening:  I wonder if the early-40s slightly-nutty built like a brick house account rep who teaches Sunday School and is single and unmarried is as good in bed as I think she would be.  Because every time she starts yammering on about some useless subject all I can do is think:  "Underneath, I bet you're kinky enough to guest star ..."

Goin' to hell.

--fje
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*Og-R-Snax, now a wholly owned subsidiary of Buy'n'Large Food Services, a division of Buy'n'Large. 

Remember, at BnL we always strive to positively affect your life and to give it more of that supreme effortlessness you love. Because at Buy'n'Large, we want you to leave your life to us.
PyroSquirrel Reply #2 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 20, 2007, 11:30:18 PM
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Daisy St. Patience
I like this idea but I'm not entiiiiiirely sure how it's different than Way Too Much Information, unless from now on I'll post my sexy impulses in here, and my sexy acts in there.
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The boy disengaged and looked at us with excited eyes. "Dude, you guys won't believe what just happened to us!"

John turned to him.

"You bored a stranger with your stupid-ass story, and he pulled out his cock and whipped you with it like a stage coach driver?"


John Dies at the End
toranoraneko Reply #3 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 01:15:46 AM
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A lonely chord, without a song.
Quote from: Narcissa on June 20, 2007, 10:45:23 PM
A bunch of silly putty would make a really good dildo.
No. No it wouldn't. Silly putty melts when it gets too hot.
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"Where will I hang up my raincoat when this day is over? Like a leaf without a tree, nothing to cover over me. I'm like a character from a story, I don't exist."
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TIP Reply #4 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 01:23:05 AM
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My girl is asleep in the bed right over there. Tomorrow I'm going to pin her down and fuck her so very hard... but not until she's begging to come.
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Our arms are waving, our lips are apart;
And if any gaze on our rushing band,
We come between him and the hope of his heart,
We come between him and the deed of his hand!
Cytherea Reply #5 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 06:45:08 PM
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Me Non Rogo; Hic Modo Laboro.
Quote from: TIP on June 21, 2007, 01:23:05 AM
My girl is asleep in the bed right over there. Tomorrow I'm going to pin her down and fuck her so very hard... but not until she's begging to come.

That sounds like fun! *grin*
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julia Reply #6 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 08:13:42 PM
I've donated. Why haven't you?
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Cytherea... like.....  Aww
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Dagda Reply #7 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 08:17:29 PM
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I'm happy. See, I'm smiling!
I've been sending naughty email and chats to my girlfriend... While she's at work. We've got a date tomorrow night, and I've intentionally been winding her up. Extended foreplay. Cool
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I live my life by YMMV
Innuendo- now there's a word that's full of itself!

* the term... (insert term here) ... is uttered with malice toward none.  Any offense taken is solely the responsibility of the person taking offense.  The utterer of said words pleads ignorance to the perceived slight and utter indifference to its occurrence.
     -Gwoo
Scix Reply #8 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 08:36:01 PM
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Blue beard
I wanna bone the ex of my upstairs neighbor.

Like, a lot. Like, I have planned how to lure him into my parlor (metaphorically).
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I Write Books! -- Chunnel Surfer II -- book or free download; also check out my sounds...
that sentence is true ↓    One more thing sex and talking have in common: when people go
↑ ǝs1ɐɟ sı ǝɔuǝʇuǝs ʇɐɥʇ     without it for a while, they start to do it to themselves! --- LrsDude
The Ogre Reply #9 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 08:54:09 PM
LOOKIT MUH COOTER
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Enjoy Og-R-Snax Brand Snack Foods*
I want to introduce my wife to the adorably cute gay girl in the office.

Because I want them to hook up.

Without me.

Which is odd.

But true.

But for me there's a friend who is more in to me than ladies, so I will go play with her.

And later we could go to bed and compare notes, and that would be f'ing hot.

--fje
Last Edit: June 21, 2007, 09:01:18 PM by The Ogre Logged
*Og-R-Snax, now a wholly owned subsidiary of Buy'n'Large Food Services, a division of Buy'n'Large. 

Remember, at BnL we always strive to positively affect your life and to give it more of that supreme effortlessness you love. Because at Buy'n'Large, we want you to leave your life to us.
fae Reply #10 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 09:01:32 PM
Dancing Jeebas
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braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins!
<hides>

Can I bring Julia and Cytherea?
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Meliandora Reply #11 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 09:30:11 PM
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*starts to speak mind* *shakes head* too many dirty thoughts. Too little room.
Last Edit: June 21, 2007, 09:31:44 PM by Meliandora Logged
da chicken Reply #12 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 09:49:23 PM
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It's a joke. Laugh.
Quote from: toranoraneko on June 21, 2007, 01:15:46 AM
No. No it wouldn't. Silly putty melts when it gets too hot.

Even worse, if you pull it very quickly it gets momentarily brittle and will snap.

Not the kind of thing I'd want running down my leg for a few hours.

** sniff sniff ** "Why do I have a sudden craving for newspaper comics?"
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"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit." -- Oscar Wilde

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -- Carl Sagan
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da chicken Reply #13 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 09:51:10 PM
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It's a joke. Laugh.
Quote from: Meliandora on June 21, 2007, 09:30:11 PM
*starts to speak mind* *shakes head* too many dirty thoughts. Too little room.

Dirty thoughts are like songs that get stuck in your head.  The only way to make them go away is to experience the real thing.
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"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit." -- Oscar Wilde

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -- Carl Sagan
89649_mr._bugfinder.png12595_mr._tester.png
fae Reply #14 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 09:51:21 PM
Dancing Jeebas
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braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins!
Quote from: Meliandora on June 21, 2007, 09:30:11 PM
*starts to speak mind* *shakes head* too many dirty thoughts. Too little room.

<pouts>

Let us in Meli!  Let us in!

<a rap-tap tapping at your door>
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Cytherea Reply #15 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 09:59:41 PM
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Me Non Rogo; Hic Modo Laboro.
Quote from: fey on June 21, 2007, 09:01:32 PM
<hides>

Can I bring Julia and Cytherea?

Oooh, a girls' night in? Those are always fun! Cheesy

...Should we invite some of the boys, too?
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jabbaciv Reply #16 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 10:01:02 PM
All Klingon in the Pants
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We can't stop here, this is bat country
I really want some hot bondage sex.
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"The laws and Constitution are designed to survive, and remain in force, in extraordinary times." -SCOTUS Justice Kennedy
fae Reply #17 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 10:02:57 PM
Dancing Jeebas
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braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins!
Ooh.   For the naughty mario party action on the wii?
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Kyle J Cardoza Reply #18 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 10:08:07 PM
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You're surrounded by armed bastards!
Quote from: fey on June 21, 2007, 10:02:57 PM
Ooh.   For the naughty mario party action on the wii?

[Mal]Oh, God! I can't know that![/Mal]
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Gene: He's a bum bandit; do you understand? A poof, a fairy, a queer, a queen, fudge-packer, uphill gardener, fruit picking sodomite.
Sam: He's gay?
Gene: As a bloody Christmas tree!
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DarthParadox Reply #19 in Dirty Thoughts Thread — Posted June 21, 2007, 10:09:21 PM
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Hereditary Geek
Dude.  Strip Mario Party.

Every time someone gets a star, everyone else loses a garment.  Cheesy
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Pyrlogos - a new fantasy webcomic
Coming soon!
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