Topic: Dirty Thoughts Thread

[fae]

Where can you get 400 candles for under 20 dollars?

votive candles?

[Gudy]

votive candles?

Now *that* is a deliciously perverted thought: from Catholicism to Kink at the strike of a match. ;-)

Also, tealight candles are a couple bucks for a hundred around here.

[The Ogre]

Bondage collar...29. 95 
Silk tie downs...15.44 
Japanese knot bondage...32.25 
400 Candles... 18.88 
The look on a doms face when seeing you were a good little pet... Priceless. 
 

'll be in m' office.

</jayne>


--fje

[choctaw]

Now *that* is a deliciously perverted thought: from Catholicism to Kink at the strike of a match. ;-)

Also, tealight candles are a couple bucks for a hundred around here.

The little tealight candles you're thinking of are often referred to as votive candles here.  The little round disc-type ones? That's what she means, I think.

[The Ogre]

I want to meet my neighbor that walked by carrying Pi cupcakes and had a FSM decal on her car.

And yes, this thought belongs here.

... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

--fje

[Gudy]

The little tealight candles you're thinking of are often referred to as votive candles here.  The little round disc-type ones? That's what she means, I think.

SRSLY? While both have about the same diameter, around here, tealight candles - the little round disc-like ones - are definitely less in height than their diameter, while votive candles, or those I have seen at least, are somewhat higher than their diameter and about an order of magnitude more expensive than the tealights.

[Gwoo]

My god, I'd fill this thread all by myself.

I've got the instincts of a 19yr old frat boy, the mind of a prurient and dissipated American novelist in his late 40s, and the social directive of a Victorian school marm.

Mine for the evening:  I wonder if the early-40s slightly-nutty built like a brick house account rep who teaches Sunday School and is single and unmarried is as good in bed as I think she would be.  Because every time she starts yammering on about some useless subject all I can do is think:  "Underneath, I bet you're kinky enough to guest star ..."

Goin' to hell.

See, I think this happens to be universal.  Virtually every woman I encounter results in a speculative run down of what she would be like in the sack.  I even speculate on the older ones as to what they must have been like *in their day.*  It gets particularly distracting when it involves someone you think would be great in the sack.

And, to compound the problem, the older you get the more women who one might deem acceptable.  At 16, your age span is probably about 14 to 30 provided they haven't had kids.  While the bottom age creeps up, it doesn't climb as fast as the top end opens up.  Nearing 50 I'll ponder from about 30 to 70 with the 20 to 30 ogled, to be sure, but deemed too young to be particularly interesting.  That's a far wider range.

I guess I can see how one becomes a dirty old man.  You can imagine what it's like fucking just about any age bracket by then. 

It means you can't watch the news.  There's Katie Couric or Condi Rice or Hillary Clinton or Barbara Walters and on and on and on.  Then the Weather Bims appear like Mish the dish Michaels in Boston.  Rowwrrrrrrrr.

So yeah, Ogre, I feel your pain.  Business meetings with women can be distracting.  Half the time is spent wondering what it's like to nail them.

[fixer]

...When he geeks like that, it makes me SO FUCKING HOT.

Edit to add:  I regret that I am too sleepy to accurately convey what really makes this a dirty thought, but I figure y'all will bear with me.

You don't need to edit to explain. I feel the same way about it.

mmmmm...geek.

Also, it's fun listening to him drool over pretty girls.

I'm a little overloaded on dirty thoughts at the moment. Most of them I'm not sharing.

[Gudy]

Gwoo, I was agreeing with you and nodding my head right up until you brought up Condi, when everything instantly ground to a halt. Seriously, Condi creeps me out. Do you know the scene in Men in Black where they are showing the video wall with all the famous people who are really aliens? Well, Condi Rice triggers that visual in me, big time.

Re: dirty thoughts - hmm, pegging...

[fae]

SRSLY? While both have about the same diameter, around here, tealight candles - the little round disc-like ones - are definitely less in height than their diameter, while votive candles, or those I have seen at least, are somewhat higher than their diameter and about an order of magnitude more expensive than the tealights.

Sorry.   Tealights and votives are mostly synonymous here, but I did mean the tall, scented, slightly inverted cone shaped ones.   Let me bring pictures in to demonstrate.

These are what I was talking about, you can get about twenty for three bucks.

(click to show/hide)

This is, to the best of my knowledge a catholic, hindu, buddhist and whoever else does the whole candle thing, votive candle.

(click to show/hide)

Cause of the glass.

And finally, tealights

(click to show/hide)

which can be bought in 100 candle increments for about five bucks.

[fae]

I think the Ogre just thinks about her in the sack because she annoys the piss out of him.  He has a fetish for annoying people.  Why dy'all think he married me?

[Gwoo]

Everybody has a chick whose image is akin to an old LP needle being scraped across the record.  Madeline Albright does that for me.  Hillary used to, but now I wonder if she isn't a little too tightly wound who would be rather loud and demanding as she sought to relieve tension, so to speak.  Her can's a little unattractive to me.

On the other hand, Tipper Gore looks like she'd try anything once ...  She looks like she was a lot of fun in her day.

Either Bush first lady doesn't do it, although who wouldn't nail one of the twins.  Get Betty Ford Liquored up and I think you had quite the rodeo ride in the 60s and 70s.  Nancy Reagan was the "other woman," stealing rap master Ronnie from Jane Wyman.  Personally Jane looks like she was more fun, but anything times zero is still zero.

Golda Meir?  Yeesh.  Talk about a two bagger.  Margaret Thatcher could go either way, either really stiff or a flat out tiger when she loosened up.  Tony Blair's wife looks like she'd buck you over the headboard and demand more, god love her.  Corizine Aquino looked like she'd be fun and Imelda Marcos had to have been wrestling with a few demons that might have been fun to coax out between the sheets.  Then again, that violates the cardinal rule of DO NOT FUCK CRAZY.

Paris Hilton?  Nothing.  She's used to be served.  No movement.

Drew Barrymore?  Now that looks like a hell of a lot of fun, than you very much.  Susan Sarandon?  Katharine Hepburn?  Let me at'em.

I could go on and on and on ....

[fixer]

Dirty old men are so much fun to listen to. 

[Gwoo]

What can I say, some women exude a sexuality and earthiness that is entrancing and others do not.  That earthiness manifests itself in a natural beauty that doesn't necessarily conform to convention.  Drew Barrymore is not stunningly attractive, but there's an air about her that is, well, hot.  Cameron Diaz looks like a bitch, for example, as does Lucy Liu.  Then there's that old cougar, Demi Moore ...

[fae]

Dirty old men are so much fun to listen to. 

They're so cute too.

[fixer]

I enjoy comparing notes. Lock and I got in an argument once about whether Liv Tyler was hotter in Armageddon or The Lord of the Rings.

Fey: yes, also cute. But try telling them they're cute. They never believe you.

[fae]

Lord of the Rings, no contest :-p


And... I'm scared of him.  You do it.

[fixer]

I do. Constantly. But I don't know why you're scared of him. He's really a sweetheart.

(Shhhhh. Don't tell him I told you that.)

[Norq]

My girl is asleep in the bed right over there. Tomorrow I'm going to pin her down and fuck her so very hard... but not until she's begging to come.

*purrrrrrrr*

I love my Sir.

[notwearingawire]

A dirty thought haiku:

Maybe this weekend
He will yield virginity
I will rock his world.