Yeah, I don't think anybody's gonna disagree with that. Relationships shouldn't be inescapable, and against the forces of doubt, longing, and resentment, marriage is just a piece of paper, as much as it may grind against the romantic notions of some. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that if you never find anyone you want to share with so much that you're willing to sacrifice something, that seems a little sad to me.

Hey man, gimmi-

...Wait no, I'm not into that. Carry on.

This.   

Of course it needs to be balanced, or it's not going to work. But there's something good you remember about all that, right? Seems rare for love to be an unmitigated mistake, and impossible for it to be something you can really regret, since you at least learned something.

This old fart has only one word of advice to the group:  flexibility.  Try not to bind yourselves to absolutes, because it is human to fall short of perfection.  If you can't get that Perfect Love ^TM, then you will beat on yourself for not being good enough to deserve it, or on your partner for not being able or willing to supply it.  Neither is productive or constructive.  I have found that the world will generally disregard what I think it should be, and so I settle for the best I can get at whatever given moment I can get it.

My expectations, ethics and morals would probably appall the idealistic twerp I was when I got out of high school, but I have learned that given the conducive circumstances and experiences, we are all capable of anything that we may find physically possible.  Sixty years of monogamous fidelity is possible, but it is not the only way of true love unless the lovers choose to make it so.  If love means that the welfare and happiness of the beloved are necessary to one's own welfare and happiness. then it follows that one finds happiness through shared love regardless of the numbers.  Monogamy and polygamy are optional. 

Romeo and Juliet took the easy way out and never had to deal with inlaws, economic downturns, physical ailments, children or any of the other stresses of living an adult life.  For this they are immortalized as great lovers?  Idealistic twits, the pair of them! 

This is one of the things about me that less than a handful of people outside these boards know about me, and I'm kinda feeling like talking about it, so I'm taking the opportunity.  It's kellysharetime:

I'm 24 and the current relationship I'm in is the only one I've ever had, ever.  And it's poly.  So I don't really have any monorelationships to compare it to, firsthand, to talk about how it's different or which is harder or anything like that.  But I can talk about what poly is like, for me.

It's hard to say how I came to my conclusion that I'm poly.  It wasn't a sudden thing, I know that, but more of fitting the pieces of my life together in a way that made sense.  I yearn for true companionship with people, and have always -- since I was very young -- dreamt of the perfect living scenario being me and my closest friends all living in the same large house, sharing life together.  Of course, when I was young, it was an innocent enough dream, basically equaling a permanent sleepover with my friends... now, I actually have that on a small scale, but including a more innuendoed sense of the phrase "sleeping with" than I ever dreamt of as a kid.

Of course, like any relationship, there are conflicts to resolve and life things to deal with.  Like I said, I can't attest to the level of difficulty as compared to other types of relationships, but what I'm saying is that all relationships have some level of hardships and challenges.  It's part of the relationship package, and with interacting with people in general.  I like what I have and am totally willing to deal with the conflicts that arise to keep it.

I've never considered it to be multitasking to be poly.  It feels natural for me.  I love my SOs very much and can't imagine not having either one in my life.  They each make my world brighter, and together, they are brilliant.

So there's my quick generic summation of my life as a polyperson.  I think there isn't one right kind of relationship, and one of the things I like about the poly mindset is that it's up to you and whoever you are in a relationship with to set your own boundaries and otherwise decide what your relationship is going to look like, rather than have some cookie cutter that tells you.  By which I'm not saying that all monogamous relationships are like that, but that if you choose to be monogamous, I think it's better that it's what you and your partner consciously decide rather than something imposed on you from cultural taboo, etc (I grew up not knowing there were any other options besides monogamy, and because of that I assumed for a very long time that I would end up single and lonely my whole life because I don't think it's possible that I could only share my life with one person and that other person would actually be able to handle only having himself to share me with -- I'm a handful).

Flexibility is an important attribute in many relationships.
Particularly if your relationship is with a French acrobat who loves to play naked Twister.....

Well, I had originally scripted the bendable buxom beauty as Swedish, but then I realized I didn't know any Swedish acrobats; all I could think of was Cirque Du Soleil, so....

I know this thread has wandered a bit, but I am chiming in to say that I'm a poly in a mono relationship that has lasted one year, one month and twenty-two days and I still have not imploded.

No, and no one's been buried in the rose garden either. We're both alive and well, there are even people who can testify that they've talked to both of us.

(Sorry about the threadjack. That was a record even for me.)