The whining, the insecurity, the clinginess, the monopolization of time and energy. And those are the archetypal "nice" guy's good points.

Get the picture?

Note: Given three requests, I'll close this thread. I'm sick of this subject.

Why don't I like nice guys?

Because I don't want to have a relationship with someone who constantly needs reassurance.

Because I make a point of avoiding people who are insecure.

Girls don't choose some kind of jerk over and over again. They just don't choose you... and your NiceGuy TM  ilk because well... you're pathetic and your blind.

You would rather live in a fantasy world where instead of Mike from SP you really are a great guy and if only girls would stop long enough to... oh bull fucking shit.

My boyfriend is a great guy... he's a normal guy... he's a funny guy even. He tries to be understanding. He tries to be supportive. He even tries to chear me up when I'm depressed. He's not a perfect guy. He's flawed. He hurts my feelings, he upsets me, he frustrates me, sometimes he doesn't listen... but he tries.

That's what makes you different from the guys who have dates. It's not that you aren't wild or edgy. It's that they fucking try.

And that my dear NiceGuyTM makes it worth the times when I'm hurt, or upset, or frustrated or not heard.

You want help growing and changing so you aren't so repulsive to females? Great I'll be more than willing to give you support.

You want to wallow in a little pity party of one bemoaning the evils of women who just can't see what a great guy you are... well then I'll (and seemingly most women) will consider you a pathetic waste of space.

P.S. My boyfriend has a GIANT penis of doom

Bitch!

Who said you could talk so much?

You wan'anothuh black eye?

You go out back and clean muh underbritches!

P.S. Yes, my penis is huge.

Sweetiekins,

Remember your friends "TheTwins". If you ever want to see them alive you will remove your cock from your mouth and stop spewing precum all over the forums when you talk.

Love

Ash

P.S. It really is huge

...

Yes dear.

P.S. Like... huuuuge.

It's kind of a Catch-22, in that much of the insecurity comes from the inability to find a relationship, and as a result of that insecurity, you're unable to find a relationship.

I had just as big of a "nice guy" complex as anyone else when I was in high school. In fact I'm pretty sure I was the first or second person to start one of the nice guy threads on XF.

The way I got over it was that I stopped letting my desire for a relationship or my lack of a relationship determine whether or not I felt fulfilled or happy. Sex is great and relationships are great, but they aren't all there is to life, and sex won't always be available and a lot of the time you have to do it all alone so it makes much more sense to find what makes you happy and be a content person all by yourself without needing anyone else.

Once I'd sort of reached this place, or at least fully come to the realization that sex wasn't the most important thing in the universe as I wouldn't say I'm fully self-sufficient yet, suddenly I found out that there were women who were attracted to me. And good-looking ones to boot.

I don't know what to suggest about that dude, but that kinda falls out of the "nice guy" area, because clearly it isn't preventing you from getting laid, and more into the "shit you have to work out," area.

can I just simply point out that there's little difference between 'Nice guys whining' about all the 'horrors' done to them in the past by horrible evil women who are all the same and everyone else bitching about how sick they are nice guys because of all the whining they did to them in the past and how they are all the same?

Oh. That's right. One's more socially acceptable. Keep forgetting that.

It's truly possible for a person to be a 'nice guy' and not whiny and all the other crap that was said. Just as it's possible for an emo guy to be fun, a ghetto person can be smart, and a woman to be decisive.

To actually answer the question at hand, the problem is that women are individuals. Whose taste vary with the change of the tide. For the most part, I'll accept it's easier for a man to be attracted to someone than a woman. Therefore, she would only want friendship from you, and yet there still be nothing wrong with you. I know, I know. It sounds like total bullshit, but stranger things have happened. And if she's basing her choice of man on attitude, that's a.) her prerogative b.) the way life goes.

It doesn't always have to be fair, it doesn't always have to make sense, and yes, it hurts like a bitch. But don't make yourself the victim by pretending a group of people are specifically out to get the certain 'catergory' you fall under. Realize the harsh truth: That woman didn't want you. In the long run, it's better that way. Because even if you really cared for this woman, if you see her as just an individual who didn't feel the same way... you'll slowly come to grips with: "Hey. 3 Billion others... Bonus"

Don't victimize yourself, because you are just hurting yourself, and as you see by our peers here, pissing everyone else off. Don't make the double x to be some type of hateful monster that just doesn't see the wonderful guy that you are. Realize that you probably wouldn't pick everyone who comes to you. Realize that Pain hurts as long as you let it. If you constantly dredge it up, it will sting. And yes, Realize that not everyone will like you. It doesn't take away from you. It sucks, but it's one person. Or twelve, or three thousand, seven hundred, and sixty two. Guess what, though?

The odds are still in your favor.

Oh, one last thing. Don't ever come to the internet for sympathy unless you fit into the liked catergories: 'really hot', 'really smart', or 'really bitter'. If you're not one of those, It's like painting a target on your forehead saying "PLEASE BASH THIS WAY!"

One thing I want to point after my post is that I've been rejected since I was 15. I was also just rejected recently.

Again. As I put it in my post "It sucks, but it's one person. Or twelve, or three thousand, seven hundred, and sixty two. Guess what, though?

The odds are still in your favor."