As this thread has shown not all endowments are wonderful as one might think, as food for thought, I present a selection of musings on size.

1.   My penis is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.
2.   My penis is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my penis got right in. I had to stand and argue with the doorman.
3.   My penis is so big, I have to call it Mr. penis in front of company.
4.   My penis is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls.
5.   My penis is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high school.
6.   My penis has an elevator and a lobby.
7.   My penis has better credit than I do.
8.   My penis is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.
9.   My penis is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My penis.
10.   My penis is so big, it has casters.
11.   My penis is so big, I'm already fucking a girl tomorrow.
12.   My penis is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor.
13.   My penis is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Penis.
14.   My penis is so big, it lives next door.
15.   My penis is so big, I entered it in a big-penis contest and it came in first, second, and third.
16.   My penis is so big, it votes.
17.   My penis is a better dresser than I am.
18.   My penis is so big, it has a three-picture deal.
19.   My penis is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.
20.   My penis is so big, Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run.
21.   My penis runs the 440 in 15 seconds
22.   My penis is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob.
23.   No matter where I go, my penis always gets there first.
24.   My penis takes longer lunches than I do.
25.   My penis contributed fifty thousand dollars to the Democratic National Committee.
26.   My penis was once the ambassador to China.
27.   My penis is so big, it's gone condo.
28.   My penis hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.
29.   My penis was almost drafted by the Cleveland Browns, but Art Modell didn't want a bigger penis than he was on the team.
30.   My penis is so big, I use the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler.
31.   It's so big, when it rains the head of my penis doesn't get wet.
32.   My penis is so big, I could wear it as a tie if I wasn't so afraid of getting a hard-on and killing myself.
33.   My penis is so big, I have to use an elastic zipper.
34.   My penis is so big, it has feet.
35.   My penis is so big, a homeless family lives underneath it.
36.   My penis is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off.
37.   My penis is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.
38.   My penis is so big, they use the bullet train to test my condoms.
39.   My penis is so big, it has investors.
40.   My penis is so big, it seats six.
41.   My penis is so big, I use a hula hoop as a cock ring.
42.   My penis is so big, we use it at parties as a limbo pole.
43.   My penis is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.
44.   My penis is so big, it has an opening act.
45.   My penis is so big I can fuck an elevator shaft.
46.   My penis is so big, it has its own Wheaties box.
47.   My penis is so big, I have to cook it breakfast in the mornings.
48.   My penis is so big, the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars could get through.
49.   My penis is so big, every time I get hard I cause a solar eclipse.
50.   My penis is so big, it only plays arenas.
51.   If you cut my penis in two, you can tell how old I am.
52.   My penis was once set on fire for a Dino DiLaurentis movie.
53.   My penis is so big, it needs an airplane warning light.
54.   My penis is so big, Trump owns it.
55.   My penis is so big that we're all a part of it, and it's all a part of us.
56.   My penis is so big, I can never sit in the front row.
57.   My penis is so big, that it has its own penis. And even my penis's penis is bigger than your penis.
58.   My penis is so big, you can't blow me without a ladder.
59.   My penis is so big, it only does one show a night.
60.   My penis is so big, you can ski down it.
61.   My penis is so big, it has an elbow.
62.   My penis is so big, I have to check it as luggage when I fly.
63.   My penis is so big, it has a personal trainer.
64.   My penis is so big, that right now it's in the other room fixing us drinks.
65.   My penis is so big, it has a retractable dome.
66.   My penis is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.
67.   My penis is so big, there's a sneaker named "Air My penis"
68.   My penis is so big, I'm it's bitch.
69.   My penis is so big, it's against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.
70.   My penis is so big, I could fuck a tuba.
71.   My penis is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.
72.   My penis is so big, it has its own gravity
73.   NASA once launched a space probe to search for the tip of my penis.
74.   My penis is so big, it's impossible to see all of it without a satellite.
75.   The inside of my penis contains billions and billions of stars.
76.   My penis is so big, it has a spine.
77.   My penis is so big, it has a basement.
78.   My penis is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My penis.
79.   My penis is more muscular than I am.
80.   My penis is so big it has cable.
81.   My penis is so big, it violates seventeen zoning laws.
82.   My penis is so big, it has its own page in the Sierra Club calendar.
83.   My penis is so big, it has a fifty-yard line.
84.   My penis is so big, I was once in Ohio and got a blow job in Tennessee.
85.   My penis is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.
86.   My penis is so big, I can braid it.
87.   My penis is so big, that when it's Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it's Central Mountain Time at my balls.
88.   My penis is so big, I painted the foreskin red, white, and blue and used it as a flag.
89.   My penis is so big, I can sit on it.
90.   My penis is so big, it can chew gum.
91.   My penis is so big, it only tips with hundreds.
92.   My penis is so big, the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it. Actually, two sandwiches.
93.   My penis is so big, the city was going to build a statue of it but they ran out of cement.
94.   My penis is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it.
95.   My penis is so big, when I get hard my eyebrows get pulled down to my neck.
96.   My penis is so big, you're standing on it.
97.   My penis is so big, it only comes into work when it feels like it.
98.   My penis is so big, it plays golf with the president.
99.   My penis is so big, it charges money for its autograph.
100.   My penis is so big, it has an agent. My penis's people will call your people. Let's have lunch with my penis.

201.   My penis is so big my grandmother knits it sweaters.
202.   My penis is so big, the homeless sleep under it.
203.   My penis is so big it has its own zip code.
204.   My penis is so big it produces its own local weather.
205.   My penis is so big they've had to divide up the compass with, North, South, East, West and My penis.
206.   My penis is so big that once I got it stuck in my zipper and didn't even scream till I finally felt it two days later.
207.   My penis is so big, the Patriots acquired it to play football-next year, it'll be the entire front line.
208.   My penis is so big that there're currently a bunch of biologists filming a documentary on its untamed inhabitants.
209.   My penis is so big, while I'm eating peanuts way back in Coach, he's up in the big chair, talking to the tower; getting clearance to land; flying the plane.
210.   My penis can look directly into a second-story window. Flat-footed.
211.   My penis never has to audition for the part.
212.   My penis is so big, Austrailian Aboriginals revere it as their 'New Uluru'.
213.   My penis is so big, certain parts of it sell alcohol; certain parts of it don't.
214.   My penis is so big it can't take the Panama Canal, but must sail all the way around the tip of South America.
215.   My penis is so big that European pranksters show up every night; stomping around all over it making fake crop circles.
216.   My penis has fiber optics.
217.   My penis is so big that if I accidentally trip over it, it takes 2-3 days just to hit the ground.
218.   My penis is so big that if it were a boat, there'd be no such thing as adequate scope for safe anchoring.
219.   My penis is so big its own gravity'll soon capture the Moon.
220.   My penis is so big that its flight is impossible without the aid of rising thermal updrafts.
221.   My penis is so big that Hannibal tried to ride it across the Alps.
222.   My penis is so big that my urologist is quadruplets.
223.   My penis is so big it's decided on a career in Law.
224.   My penis is so big, it might attract an IRS tax audit.
225.   My penis is so big, even Evel Knievel couldn't jump it on his Rocketbike.
226.   My penis has hosted Saturday Night Live-TWICE!
227.   My penis is so big; like the Louvre or Disneyworld; you really can't see it all in one day…
228.   My penis is so big, visitors at the zoo buy bags of peanuts to stuff up it.
229.   My penis is so big its considered a load-bearing member.
230.   My penis is so big that just keeping it painted is an unending chore.
231.   My penis is so big, lots of people think we're brothers.
232.   My penis is so big, the DMV is requiring me to obtain a Class B license.
233.   My penis is so big the Coast Guard recently installed a 10 million candlepower searchlight at the tip.
234.   My penis is so big it changed its name to an unpronounceable symbol formerly known as penis.
235.   My penis is so big that from the tip, everybody down there looks like teeny-tiny little ants.
236.   My penis is so big it scared early mapmakers who depicted it as a sea monster.
237.   My penis is so big; if it was a Columbus, it would've come to America on the Nina, the Pinta AND the Santa Maria.
238.   My penis is so big it could've fed the entire Donner Party-for two winters!
239.   My penis is so big, it takes two days and a good packmule to get up to the tip.
240.   My penis requires backcountry permits for all overnight hikes.
241.   My penis is so big, I've had to resort to hiring out-of-state hookers.
242.   My penis is so big it doesn't need a resume, a nice suit or a firm handshake to get the job.
243.   My penis is so big it has to downshift on steep grades.
244.   My penis is so big, smaller peniss may experience severe turbulence from my penis's wingtip vortices.
245.   My penis is so big, it may've already been assimilated by the Borg.
246.   My penis is so big, its got OnStar.
247.   My penis is so big, at first I thought it was using steroids to bulk up, but then I saw my penis's penis and IT WAS HUGE, TOO!
248.   My penis is so big,it takes 1 ½ miles to make a 90 degree turn.
249.   My penis and Las Vegas, NV create the exact same size carbon footprint.
250.   My penis is so big it has a private helipad.
251.   My penis is so big, its always cool in the winter, warm in the summer.
252.   My penis is so big, I have to bus in day laborers just to fidgit with my balls.
253.   My penis is so big it has Yosemite Sam mudflaps.
254.   My penis is so big it doesn't ship to AK or HI.
255.   My penis is so big there's a bumper sticker on back warning motorists not to drive in it's blind spot.
256.   My penis is so big the Eskimos have over 40 unique words that mean 'my penis'.
257.   My penis is so big, I'm already banging my next girlfriend's best friend.
258.   My penis is so big, it pilots its own Gulfstream Jet.
259.   My penis is so big, as soon as its won the superbowl; its ALREADY AT Disneyland!
260.   My penis is so big that Verizon's leasing space at the tip for a cellphone tower.
261.   My penis is so big it has a four-lane bowling alley.
262.   My penis is so big it was mistakenly claimed for Spain by de Portola in 1629.
263.   My penis is so big, it takes large prey items that may require weeks to move through its digestive tract.
264.   My penis is so big you'd better just get the Cliff's Notes version.
265.   My penis is so big, visitors are delighted with its scenic beauty as well as the deluxe accomodations, snack bar and pro-shop.
266.   My penis is so big, penthouse guests have reported there's a noticeable sway on windy days.
267.   My penis is so big, it spoils every single Christmas; waking up early and opening ALL the presents under the tree.
268.   My penis is so big its become aloof; maintaining just a nodding acquintance with my balls, and won't even speak to my asshole anymore.
269.   My penis is the only line drawing on the Nazca Plain in Peru that you can really see from space.
270.   My penis is so big, students will need a calculator with scientific notation.
271.   My penis is so big, it was a Varsity starter in all three sports since Freshman year!
272.   My penis is so big it subconsciously ducks its head just a little bit every time I walk thru a doorway.
273.   My penis's so big; in the playground, it could either teeter OR totter-but never reallly teeter-totter.
274.   My penis once blacked-out the entire Western US electrical grid, just using the blow dryer.
275.   My penis is so big, whenever there's a report of a huge penis jam, it'll usually be the penis at fault.
276.   My penis is so big, novice divers should be reminded to pressure-equalize their ears several times on the way down.
277.   My penis is so big, its only natural that it would experience its fair share of cattle mutilations and ghost ships.
278.   My penis is so big it lacks the agility to dodge the spinning propeller blades; it bears the wounds from encounters with several careless boaters.
279.   My penis is so big, Steve Irwin once lasso'd it with a top-jaw rope.
280.   My penis's so big, it can sit in the front row at Sea World and Shamu doesn't dare splash it.
281.   My penis is slated to host the 2016 Summer Olympics.
282.   My penis is so big, they won't let it ride ANY of the 'coasters at Six Flags.
283.   My penis's so big, it'll be presenting a fireworks extravaganza after the show.
284.   My penis is so big, rising fuel costs have forced it to cancel its summer travel plans.
285.   My penis is so big it needs those specially fitted orthopedic shoes.
286.   My penis is so big it periodically sheds its skin. Got enough last month to make a pair of motorcycle boots, three wallets and this belt.
287.   My penis golfs with the mayor.
288.   My penis is so big it must signal with three long horn blasts before making sternway.
289.   My penis has an old rusty harpoon stuck in it.
290.   My penis blows out the candles no matter who's birthday it is.
291.   My penis is so big, they had to use bolt cutters for my vasectomy.
292.   My penis is so big, my bed is equipped with airbags.
293.   My penis is so big, I have to set up orange traffic cones when I take a piss outside.
294.   My penis is so big, I have to wear a back brace when I masturbate.
295.   My penis is so big, my wife uses it for a body pillow.
296.   My penis is so big, my urologist has to rent a forklift for my annual prostate exam.
297.   My penis is so big, it's part of the government bailout plan.
298.   My penis is so big, it is a source of employment.
299.   My penis is so big, I'm not supposed to operate it after taking NyQuil.
300.   My penis is so big, even after 300 jokes it’s still funny.

...And a lot of free time!

My penis is so big I'd have to triple post it.

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Penis.